This time it really is me. I read the posts by that Maxwell bloke, it sounds like Max, a guy I knew in Hubei. Seems to know a bit about me. And he was in Nanning also. Anyway, you asked me about pink rooms, off topic in this thread, but I will answer anyway. I would not say I "frequent" them. Yes, on occasions I have indulged, just like a lot of other FT's and Chinese guys, including married ones. Variety is the spice of life I've heard people say. I have not been in China much this year, so couldn't really have used them anyway. Usually it is difficult to get free sex, eventually you pay for it in some way. And I have no qualms about saying that many marriages in China are just high priced prostitution.

As for Barbara, I don't think my advice is bad. It just seems to me she is really not in a good situation there. I am not saying everyone should just do a runner, it depends on circumstances. If Barbara is being bullied I don't think she should just "tough it out". Maybe some of us older more resiliant guys who have lived in Asia for many years can do that, not everyone can. I suggested she could possibly secretly negotiate with another university. Some will overlook the release letter and help her out. One thing is certain, they won't be giving her a recommendation letter.

It seems to me some of you blokes on here are sadly lacking empathy and compassion. Maybe because you have been in China too long. Worth having a think about, don't you think?

I can't argue with you, variety is the spice of life; it's just that i think I have some idea of what you look like- about 38ish-43ish, no more? I'm just perplexed as to why you have to bother with 'earning ladies' (I will concede that many wives are parasites) but I would have thought that for the price of a bowl of noodles and a few ice-creams, you yourself should have been creaming it in China.

Your empathy and compassion is laudable but not always for the best. I must say too, that instinctively("powerful people-unwilling to name") that the OP either needs toughening up, or we are being conned. Good to see you back though, Silverboy.