Been there, done that. My wife's family is actually Malaysian (Chinese). They're all here in New Zealand now. Dad (hers) wouldn't talk to her for several months after we got together. Never did know the actual reason. But it seemed to be as much about that same "abandonment" thing as anything. (I don't think they thought she was ever going to marry and would always be at home to look after them or something?)

Granted, it was a bit of a whirlwind romance. I/we tried to do everything right, but really wasn't even given the chance, for along time. In the end, everything worked out though. You just have to be genuine, honest and up-front, whilst respecting their position as best you can. Same as any in-law situation basically, just different specific issues to what we might be used to.

Oh -- one thing I did learn, which surprised me. Men don't seem to be "allowed" to speak directly to men across the family line, as it were, I mean, when there are perceived problems / anger / annoyance / whatever. It seems I am supposed to tell my wife, who will tell her mum, who will pass it on to father-in-law -- complete with Chinese wishers, messing the whole story up, usually. :-P

The reverse seems to happen in the other direction, sometimes with consultation with the sons first. It is kinda of thoughtful and diplomatic. But it's a very long winded and strange process to me.

Anyway, we've been together now about seven years and everything is just dandy -- as good as the first day. Can't ask for more.