If your story is sincere it is similar to that of other Western spouses of Chinese: the families try to get their offspring back to the motherland and then try to impose total control.

If you have a degree in arts then this is where your heart belongs, not wasting time with tesco's and nowhere English teaching jobs. Being her family's "employee" is another nowhere job.

Don't play the expat game unless you know that is what you want to do and you know the reasons for it.

Don't go along just to be complaisant. If your spouse prefers her family to you then she is not much of a spouse.