If you are getting ready for Hallowe’en or just getting dressed in the morning, here are a few terrible superhero costumes that can teach us all a valuable lesson.

1. The Falcon

The Falcon, Captain America’s sidekick, currently has a costume that fits the superhero universe just fine. However, Falcon’s earlier costume was entirely spandex, that exposed both his chest and his entire arms. This revealing outfit is made even more hilarious by the

The Moral: Never wear anything that looks like it is from an Earth, Wind and Fire concert.

2. Vartox

Vartox was one of Superman’s villainous counterparts during the 80s. He wore thigh-high boots, underwear, and a small vest. His hairy body was only upstaged by his terrible moustache.

The Moral: Cover yourself. Showing too much skin only makes you ridiculous.

3. Timber Wolf

In the Silver Age, Timber Wolf had a lavender wolf's head symbol. This was contrasted by an orange background. To add more zest and life to his already vibrant costume, zebra-striped epaulets top everything off.

The Moral: Don’t overpower your outfit with too many colors or patterns.

4. Daredevil

Daredevil’s first costume was yellow and red. It seems that Matt Murdoch truly was blind when he chose his outfit. The new all-red costume that we know and love today is a huge improvement.

The Moral: Don’t be afraid to change with the times. It has kept countless superheroes in style.

5. Wonder Woman

Although Wonder Woman wears a really hot bodice, Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman was given an unflattering pair of blue shorts with white stars. These shorts only emphasized all the wrong parts of her body. The illustrated Wonder Woman never had so many bulges.

The Moral: Wear clothes that fit your body type (and don’t listen to network executives).

6. Moondragon

Moondragon’s costume tries to be racy. She is practically half undressed, but which half is hard to tell with all of the bizarre cut outs and shapes. This costume only stays on her body because it is drawn; in real life it would require carefully placed double-sided tape.

The Moral: One or two appropriately placed cut-outs can be enticing. More cut-outs than that gets confusing and awkward.

The Overall Moral: Superheroes might be models of morality, but sometimes their taste leaves a bit to be desired. Make your costume or outfit one that is comfortable, that suits you, and you will be quite a few steps ahead of some these terrible outfits! And remember: most of these costumes have been redesigned many times. Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself.

Jordan Marston
www.theguideto-costumes.com