The Irish are renowned for their quick wit and ability to even laugh at themselves. Below are a few favourite Irish jokes meant to be taken in the spirit they were written in.

Paddy was with his mates in a bar in his local village. Jaysus lads says Paddy, the wife is pregnant again. And sure you already have 8 wee ones say Mickey. I’ll bloody well hang myself if this happens again says Paddy.

Sure enough less than 12 months later Paddy’s missus breaks the news that she’s expecting again.

You said you’d hang yourself if this happened again Paddy says one of his palls. I did surely says Paddy. I bought the rope, tied a noose on it, threw it over the tree and was ready to do away with myself when I suddenly thought-Jaysus, maybe I’m hanging the wrong man.

Mick and Paddy were walking down Kings Road in London. It was their first week in London and they were a bit naïve.

Lord above Paddy this is a great city says Mick. Why’s that Mick says Paddy. Well explains Mick-where else in the world would a complete stranger come up to you, make idle chat, invite you to dinner and then offer you to spend the night at their house.

My God says Paddy did that happen to you? No says Mick but it happens to my sister all the time.

Paddy was sitting at the bar with a large Rottweiler at his feet. Does your dog bite asks Mick No says Paddy. So Mick patted the dog who almost ripped his arm completely off. Jaysus Paddy screamed Mick-you said your dog didn’t bite. That’s not my dog Mick replied Paddy.

Dara Ward
http://www.irishaccommodationguide.com/