In everyday life there are two different kinds of respect that you can get from those you interact with. Whichever you should be due depends on the particular situation that you are in. However, the respect you get from other people is largely a result of the way that you behave. You can control how to get people to respect you.

One type of respect is earned respect and involves emotions like love and admiration. Earned respect takes time to cultivate and is based on things like confidence, trustworthiness, values, and the beliefs of the person that one has this kind of respect for. Earned respect is based more on the knowing of someone over a long period of time.

Normative respect is the other kind of respect that is given to someone and is the most common type of respect that people give to people that they don't know. For example, a man may open a door for a woman he doesn't know. Normative respect is also a respect given because of a person's status, not necessarily for the kind of person they are. For example, most people have respect for a policeman, the law, or for their boss. Normative respect is based more on duty.

Here in this article, we are mainly concerned with earned respect.

In the workplace, the family home or in everyday life, the ideal type of respect to gain from your peers, managers and employees is of course earned respect. However, if you are a manager or supervisor you will gain normative respect from most of your employees because of your status. But, as was indicated earlier, earned respect takes time to acquire because it involves the demonstration of behaviours and attitudes.

Let's look at some ways to gain earned respect.

1. Talk Less and Listen More

Rather than talking about how good you are something (which just sounds like boasting), show other people how good you are in your actions. If you are behaving in the right way you won't need to verbally justify your actions.

Additionally, you don't need to speak up about every little thing that takes place around you. Be selective about what things are worthy of your input.

Everybody likes to be heard and when you patiently listen to those talking to you, then you are showing your interest, concern and appreciation for them. Moreover, listening is complimentary to talking. When you thoroughly listen to someone you become more able to properly influence them when you do talk.

2. Show Sincere Appreciation

Sincere appreciation and flattery are two quite different things. You might use flattery on someone at the local bar to get their attention to let them know you are interested in them. Sincere appreciation, on the other hand, is not about receiving a reciprocal response. It's about recognising good behaviours and actions in another person and complimenting them for it in a genuine manner. When you see people around you who deserve appreciation, you should give it generously and without flattery. They will respect you for it

3. Honesty

If you are dishonest or untruthful you will never gain genuine respect from the people around you. If you are dishonest they may give you normative respect because of your position but you will never earn real respect. If something goes wrong and you are responsible, step up and take that responsibility without shifting the blame elsewhere. You will be much better respected for it in the long term.

4. Have Self Respect

Having self respect is perhaps the most important component of earning respect from others. Without self respect, there is no way you can respect others and behave in ways to earn their respect in turn.

So, knowing the difference between the two kinds of respect, normative and earned, you can also gain an understanding of some ways to gain genuine respect in your life. Apply these tips to your daily lives you can easily find yourself much better respected, and as a result, much happier.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: communication skills http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/