Avoid your dream and you feed your fear. Feed your fear and it grows.

Eventually you will be ruled by your fear, as your life becomes smaller and smaller. You will have less and less confidence. It becomes a vicious cycle, because as your life shrinks, your anxiety continues to grow.

Use common sense. Fear is a necessary warning, when you use it correctly. You don't jump off a building, because you are afraid of severely injuring or killing yourself. This is a rational fear that keeps you alive and healthy. This fear is a good thing.

The fear referred to here is the fear that stops you cold and prevents you from having the confidence to live your dream.

Starve your fear and feed your confidence with these tips.

1. Do It. If you procrastinate on something that you need to do, you feed the fear. Don't let the action that will advance your dream constantly slide to the bottom of your "to do" list. Every time you take action, you build a little bit of confidence.

2. Make a decision to do it. Yes, you made an active decision to procrastinate or avoid taking action, even if you didn't notice that you were making a decision. You and only you are responsible. You chose to watch TV or even clean the bathroom, rather than face your anxiety, and do some problem solving, or get some help to be confident.

Decide to regularly do something constructive to build your confidence. Find your favorite quote and post it on the bathroom mirror. Watch your favorite YouTube inspirational video every morning.

3. Don't listen to the voice of fear. If you tell yourself you are not strong enough, not smart enough, not good enough, you won't have the confidence to go for your dream. That voice has a very good strategy to keep you down. It stops you from gaining the skill, the knowledge and exercising your talent to make your dream come true.

Find good people with strong voices who you are willing to listen to who can realistically help counteract the voice of fear.

4. Silence the voice of fear. What you resist, persists. Don't try to suppress that voice. Acknowledge the voice by telling it, "Thank you for sharing, now be quiet." An even strong message is, "Thank you for sharing, not shut up." Say either one as many times as necessary for about 3 days and the voice will be silenced.

5. Stop beating yourself up for avoiding. If you call yourself names, nasty names that make you feel bad, you will just avoid more. This is sure to rob you of confidence. The problem is that you secretly believe that you are absolutely right to beat yourself up this way.

You have to be willing to seriously revise your secret beliefs and create better ones that sustain your confidence and support your dream.

6. Find your voice of encouragement. The other problem is that you also believe that beating yourself up is an effective strategy to get you going. Wrong. It just demoralizes you.

Learn how to develop the knowledge and the skills that make your dreams come true. Do you watch American Idol? The final contestants constantly have to accept professional feedback that hones their talent.

Watch and learn, then copy.

Visit http://BeConfidentToday.com/ to cultivate confidence with guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, articles, and consultations with Lynn Kennedy Baxter, BSN, MA., High Performance Coach and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Take the first step now, because confidence is your choice and you can have it.
© 2011 Lynn Kennedy Baxter, BSN, MA