No one is perfect. Am going to say that again for it to sink into your heart and mine as well because even though we say it quite often we do not believe it: no one is perfect. We say no one is perfect but still hold unrealistic expectations for our children, spouses, parents, friends and even ourselves; we expect them to have some degree of perfection. Note this- As long as we are in these mortal bodies we are bound to wrong each other. We have somehow managed to convince ourselves that there is a minimum standard for every relationship. We have these unwritten rules that must not be broken no matter what. We throw tantrums and become bitter when one of this ‘rules' is broken. In our anger and heartache we swear to make whoever has wronged us pay. We explain to anyone ready to listen to us why we did not deserve that kind of treatment: we make it all about us. Yet I have discovered for a person to hurt another they are more often than not hurting. Understand these; am not in anyway down-playing the pain of betrayal or the pain that comes with being wronged but rather exploring ways of reducing the pain and the time we spend complaining and grumbling because someone close to us did something wrong. When someone does something wrong it is an indication that they are not well, it has nothing to do with the wronged party. That's why I find it quite unwise when one starts asking questions like, ‘what is wrong with me' when for instance, their spouse cheats on them. To think that your spouses' cheating must have something to do with you is not just unwise it is selfish and shows that one thinks that the whole world revolves around them. There are exceptions of course but many are the times that the above is true.

Most of our misery that comes with being wronged is caused by the proud spirit in us; not the wrong done. We ask ourselves ‘who does she thinks she is to treat me like that? Does he know who he is messing with? Next time someone wrongs you and you find yourself asking these questions interrupt yourself and ask could they be hurting more than I am? Dare to think of them for a minute. Go as far as reminding yourself of the many pleasing things they might have done prior to the wrong. Ask yourself, if it was you who wronged them how would you like them to treat you-only a humble spirit can interrogate itself with such depth and honesty.

Good people let us not judge and we shall not be judged. More importantly let us embrace humility for only a proud spirit is quick and finds it easy to judge. Remember we are all equal before God it will save us time energy and many relationships.

am an ambassador of a program dabbed from subject to citizen under the Y.M.C.A,motivational speaker,youth leaderand a member of Y.M.C.A. Kenya.am passionate,visionary creative and dynamic.i love reading and writing. am currently reading Jim Donovan's 'this is your life, not a dress rehearsal'.