It is normal human behavior to adapt to certain situations. Most people try to be considerate about others and make an effort to fit in. However, sometimes we spend too much time playing the mind reading game, i.e. we try to assume what others think about us.

I believe that worrying about, "what others think about us" is useless and nothing good can come out of it. It is a roadblock to human potential. Majority of the people don't act on their dreams, because they worry about what others might think, if they fail. They assume that people will think negative about them. And, due to this limiting belief, thousands of ideas never see light of the day.

Some people spend so much time on this negative mind reading that they have anxiety and depression attacks. It's like they haven't grown out of teenage peer pressure days. Only if they understood that no one is thinking about them anyway, they would get out these problems.

Olin Miller said "We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do". And, that is so true. Who has the time to think about others, since there are so many problems in everyone's life.

The only control we have in our lives is the control on our thoughts, and most people don't even use that control. We let others control our lives and our behavior by assuming that others are thinking negative about us. Oscar Wilde said that "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation".

We need to be more realistic about other's thoughts. We need to realize that most people don't think about us at all. They are preoccupied with their lives and their problems. In fact, they might be just worrying about what others are thinking about them. Daniel Amen explains the 20-40-60 formula in his book. He says:

• When a person is 20 years old, he / she worries about what others think and say about him / her.
• When a person is 40 years old, he / she does not care what others think about him / her.
• When a person is 60 years old, he / she realizes that no one was thinking about him / her anyway.

So, if no one really thinks about others. Why let that become a roadblock of our success?

I am not saying that we need to stop caring about others. We need to have sympathy and empathy towards each other. We should be considerate about each other's feelings. However, we shouldn't worry about what others are thinking about us, because they are not.

Worrying what others think about us shows that we lack self confidence. When we lack self confidence, we feel inferior to others, and we look for approvals from others, and that is a major weakness.

How to cure this disease?

If you are a victim of this dangerous disease, you have the power to cure it as well. Ask yourself:

• Why do you care what others think about you?
• Understand that you are only guessing the thoughts of others, and you may be completely wrong. Then, why are you letting the guessing effect you?
• What would you rate yourself confidence to be, on a scale of 1-10?
• Do you make your decisions based on your thinking or on the guessing of others thinking?
• Who is in control or your life? Are you letting others pull your strings?

Remember, other's thoughts are harmless they can only hurt you if you let them. So, stop worrying (if you do) what others think about you. Keep your focus on your goals and enjoy the journey.

Let's get going!
PJ Bath
http://www.success-basics.com/