The unexpected curve balls that life throws our way are challenging. Common occurrences like losing your job, having your relationship breakdown, or coping with caring for aging parents force change upon you. Life’s curve balls tend to shake you up in order to wake you up. Learning to thrive and come out the other end of it better and wiser certainly requires a lot of courage. But sometimes courage can be hard to find.

We all have times when we wake up in the middle of the night in a state of panic and fear. I’m talking about those moments when you wake up like you’ve somehow defibrillated yourself awake. Your palms sweaty, it takes all your focus in order to take a single, deep belly breath to regain your center again. I’ve had more than a few mornings like that myself many times – when I decided to get divorced, when I decided to start my first business, when I decided to write a book, and so on.

This place of fear and contraction is simply part of the path those of us wanting to make a difference and unleash our full brilliance and potential walk. Whenever you step up to a new level of your brilliance, these “dark nights of the soul” come upon us. So the question is not whether these fear “pit stops” can be avoided, but how can you move through them quickly and masterfully when they do happen?One outrageously courageous woman was Helen Keller. She said:

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”

Let’s take our cue from Helen. Let’s find our courage and boldness and keep taking brilliant action towards our dreams. Here are a few tips I recommend when you need to draw upon an extra dose of courage to get you through those fearful moments.

1. Connect to Your Vision – Remember why you decided to start on this adventure of change in the first place. Whether you’re leading your business or leaving a relationship, what is the vision you have – for yourself and those around you – that beckoned you to take action and move out of your comfort zone.
2. Dig Deep for the Wisdom – Instead of getting steamrollered by fears and the voice of your inner critic, realize that there is some valuable information and wisdom for you. Is there something you’ve overlooked or some piece that needs to be put in place first before you take that next leap of faith? Instead of trying to shut down your fears, consider that it’s simply time to do some extra digging to make sure you are fully prepared for the next step.
3. Being Brilliant isn’t Always Comfortable – If you’re feeling fear and doubt, it’s often because you are taking some major steps outside of your current comfort zone. And that is a good thing! Unleashing your brilliance isn’t always easy or comfortable. If you’re feeling the squeeze of fear, realize you’re just getting another opportunity to flex and strengthen your courage muscles.
4. Take Inspired Action – It can be easy to get stuck like a deer in the headlights when you get caught up in a wave of fear. The best antidote to analysis paralysis and tapping into your courage is to take action. Even taking a small baby step can help ramp up your momentum and confidence, and help the fears and doubts to subside.

Success Strategist, coach and best-selling author, Carolyn B. Ellis, is the founder of ThriveAfterDivorce.com, created for divorced people who want to stop struggling and start thriving. To get free tips on every aspect of living through a divorce, from legal issues to single parenting to getting back into the dating world, visit www.ThriveAfterDivorce.com.