Let me give you an example. I was working with a new coaching client recently who was feeling overwhelmed. Work was unsatisfying, her children were acting up and the dynamics with her ex-spouse weren’t great. She felt unfocused and her self-confidence was plummeting quickly.
I asked her what she would tell a good friend to do if she was in a similar situation. She took a moment to consider what advice she would offer a friend, and quickly came up with the following. “I’d tell her to take first things first. She’s not getting enough sleep, so she needs to take better care of her physical health so she can think better and lower her stress level. Next, I’dtell her to ask her boss for a meeting so she can lay out the issues and solutions she’d like to propose at work. Then I’d tell her to block out some one-on-one time with her children. They seem to be acting out because she’s been so busy lately.” She laughed as she realized she had just rattled off a recipe for her own success!

Here are some tips to help you take your own advice:

Tip 1 – Listen to What You’re Saying

When you’re offering advice to someone else, and you feel like you’re almost channeling the wisdom from the Divine, stop and take notice of what you’re saying. Check in with yourself and see if these solutions would be helpful for you in some way. Often the things we say that resonate the most within us, are pearls of wisdom and advice we ourselves should be following.

Tip 2 – Notice Any Themes

One of my teachers, Debbie Ford, would often remind us that the only person you can never see in the world is yourself. We need a mirror to see ourselves. A mirror isn’t just the big rectangle hanging over your bathroom sink. The most powerful mirrors in our lives are the people we hang around with. What themes or common issues are showing up for people you are in relationship with right now? Is there a theme of not asking for help or playing small? Notice the theme and how it might be needing attention in your own life right now.

Tip 3 – What Would You Tell Your Best Friend?

It’s often way easier to see a solution for a friend’s problem than it is for yourself. A great tip to break through any personal confusion you may feel is to imagine you were speaking to a friend who had the same challenge you’re facing. Take a few centering breaths and imagine what you’d tell your friend to do in this situation. Take good notes on what you’d offer as advice because you are actually giving yourself your own marching orders!

Success Strategist, coach and best-selling author, Carolyn B. Ellis, is the founder of ThriveAfterDivorce.com, created for divorced people who want to stop struggling and start thriving. To get free tips on every aspect of living through a divorce, from legal issues to single parenting to getting back into the dating world, visit www.ThriveAfterDivorce.com.