Anger can be caused by unrealised dreams that were once treasured. When our plans do not eventuate the way we had hoped we can feel angry at the disappointment. Anger can also be aroused when we feel frustrated by our disappointment in people not behaving the way we had hoped.

We have ideas and opinions on a desired outcome and people conducting themselves in certain ways but it can be hazardous to impose our own ideas onto others. Pre-judging someone can be harmful to a friendship.

All human beings experience some level of anger, ranging from mild annoyance to full-on rage, especially when they feel that they've been wronged or treated unfairly. How strongly people respond to certain situations is determined by a combination of habit and genetics. A primal instinct can be to lash out in self defence. Social customs of manners and politeness prevent or inhibit us from losing our self control to a wild outburst of anger. Over reactions of extreme anger can also harm us as many chemicals are released into our body and if this sort of stress becomes chronic it can begin to take its toll on our health.

Negative thought patterns can be a habit and are then ingrained into the subconscious mind and pervade daily thinking. We start to think that this must just be part of our makeup and therefore we accept it more as the norm. As a result, negative thinking becomes addictive. Although we may have an awareness of our negativity and its effect upon us, if we continue to do nothing about it then it becomes ingrained. We can either make our brain our greatest allay or our fiercest adversary. Negative thinking patterns can also be fuelled by who we keep company with. Decide what to do now and choose to teach your brain and your body new habits and ways of looking for the positive things in life.

It is helpful to acknowledge and admit that it is our unmet expectations which upset us and not an actual person or event. We are responsible for our own actions and reactions. We can learn how to change habits and respond to situations rather than reacting.

When we face the fact that anger is the result of our own thought process we can tap into our ability to alter the way that we think. Once we take control of our mind, we can take control of our life. When we are in charge of our own mind we can direct our thoughts to be positive and affirm this with positive affirmations such as "I am in command of my emotions and remain composed". When you do feel those negative thoughts creeping up in your mind, take the time to repeat a positive affirmation, like "I am a strong and positive person – and I benefit greatly by allowing my mind remain tranquil and respond calmly".

People cope with angerin different ways. Some people find the need to respond verbally to cope. It is important to recognise the difference between being assertive and being aggressive when anger surfaces and to keep the emotions in check. It may help to maintain personal control by having an awareness of your own and other people's triggers. By having that awareness of your own and other people's anger flashpoints it can assist in steering clear of reaching boiling point. Having the knowledge of our own power within to control our thoughts is something valuable to have.

Darnell Bryan is a life coach who specializes in teaching people how to deal with and overcome anger. For further information check out his blog at www.overcoming-anger.com