There's a significant portion of our population who seem to thrill on passing off sarcasm as humor when in fact it's just veiled hostility. Few people are really fooled by this tactic for any length of time. But most of us are nice enough to brush it off and move on with our day. Sarcasm once in a while isn't necessarily hostility. However, if you find yourself popping off sarcastic comments several times a day or you find that you're often the only one laughing at your sarcastic humor this article is for you.

Signs You May Have Hostile Tendencies

* You feel cheated by life and feel the need for revenge.
* You hurt other's feelings and can't understand why they feel hurt.
* You seek out others who are hostile, sarcastic, and cynical.
* You look down on people making an honest effort toward self-improvement.
* You're caught up in a cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies of failure, defeat and rejection.
* You have negative confrontations more than once a year.
* You have difficulty sustaining friendships and other close relationships.

So What? Why Should You Care?

The negative consequences of hostility can be serious and limiting. Here are a few for your consideration.

* Negative consequences of hostility in terms of your friendships.
o Loss of friends because of things you say or do.
o Tendency to argue or disagree with friends instead of enjoying their company and accepting them as they are.
* Negative consequences of hostility in terms of your family life.
o Family members watch what they say and how they act around you because they're afraid of how you'll react. This results in increased emotional distance between you.
o Becoming estranged from close relatives because of differences in opinion.
* Negative consequences of hostility in terms of your health include
o Decreased Lung Function
o Increase risk of cardiovascular disease
o Increased risk of asthma
o Reduced immune system effectiveness

Five Steps To Overcoming Hostility

1. Stop wasting energy blaming others or engaging in self-pity.
2. Stop seeking to control things that are outside the realm of your influence. It doesn't do any good to fixate on the wrongs of the world around you that you have no influence on. Focus on what you can influence positively from where you are.
3. Recognize that the only real control any of us has is our ability to choose the way we react and interpret the events in our lives. Ultimately, this choice colors our character and determines whether we live happy and healthy or not.
4. There's something good and valuable in every experience. Looking for and choosing to focus on the good in an experience, no matter how small, rather than focusing on the negative is what separates winners from losers.
5. Recognize that hostility, sarcasm, and cynicism are the result of our unwillingness to let go of the desire to control things that are not ours to control in the first place. If it is not yours to control learn to let go and let God.

Charles Bender MHR is a Certified Professional Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Master Neuro-Linguistic Programming Trainer and Master Reiki Practitioner. He is the Programs Director for Chrysalis Institute LLC, Emotional Wellness Center located in Moore, Oklahoma. Charles also serves as Professional Life Coach for Information Technology at the University of Oklahoma one of Computerworld's 100 Best Places to Work in IT 2010. www.charlesdbender.com www.chrysalisinstitute.com