One of the key components of all forgiveness is to forgive yourself first.

Most people want to blame someone else for what happened to them but you will never end up letting go and being able to move on if you don't turn the focus onto yourself and forgive yourself first.

Our past tends to be exaggerated in "all or nothing" ways. It's not all their fault and none of yours. But by taking responsibility for your part, however small, you can move on. You're not taking responsibility for their part.

You also want to find out why you did what you did. Why did you marry that no good loser? Why did you eat that next bit of cake? Why did you say what you said? There will be deep down reasons. It may not seem logical but on another level it will have met your needs.

It's important to forgive the reasons behind the why.

Then you want to find out what the payoff was for doing what you did? Dig deep, what is the positive out of what you did? As much as it might seem self defeating, it gave you something. Relief? A way out? A way not to have to require more of yourself?

One way to answer all these questions is to journal for yourself. Write about the whole subject around this incident or issue that needs forgiveness.

Write until you have more insight and can feel a loosening up around the issue. Nothing is always one sided and clear cut.

It may be that you still feel that you aren't worthy of forgiving yourself. The feelings of lack of self worth are stronger than any process you try to work through. There is a really easy way to work around this and work with all the parts of yourself to overcome the force of this self sabotage.

Learn more about Self Forgiveness at www.forgive-yourself.info Kate Strong is a psychic/healer and specialises in Soul Healing and Relationship Readings. Please contact her at www.katestrong.com.