In this day and age most of us are used to instant results. Everything has to be done yesterday. Additionally, many of us lead such stressful lives that the slightest hindrance provokes annoyance and frustration. Thankfully, patience, like all things, is an art which can be learned. The following are some ways that I have used to become more patient:

The Art of Patience

1. How keeping a record helped me: The first thing I did was to keep a record of the times I lost my patience and why. From my records, I could see a pattern in my behaviour and therefore make the necessary adjustments.

2. Understanding the causes of my impatience: The next step was to figure out the incidents that made me lose my patience.

3. The importance of empathy: One way that consistently helps me to maintain my cool is empathy. In any encounter, I make it a point to place myself in the other person's shoes early on. By seeing things from their point of view, it takes a lot more to affect my composure.

4. Delaying my response in the heat of the moment: Admittedly, there are times when empathy fails. This is when I try to shift my focus from the irritation to something else. Deep breaths, counting or walking away all help to delay my response to avoid doing or saying something regrettable.

5. Becoming more tolerant: To accomplish this, I began with the minor irritations from my records. Through repeated exposure, I slowly got used to the irritations, thus increasing my level of tolerance.

6. Focus on the solutions, not the problem: Whenever I am about to lose my cool, I try to consider how I can change situation to resolve the point of contention. If it is possible to resolve the issue, I take immediate action to do so. By solving the problem, the source of my irritation disappears.

7. Create opportunities: Sometimes I have no choice but to endure a situation and wait. During these moments, I always try to change the waiting into a productive opportunity. Turning frustrations into opportunities is better than losing my patience or wasting time.

8. Remember the big picture: In the heat of the moment, I tend to develop tunnel vision. Nowadays, I try to remember the big picture. I try to see everything as part of a bigger process. I make it a point to consider the causes and effects that have led to this situation.

9. The pros and cons of losing our patience: I make it a point to ask myself what the pros and cons of losing my patience are. When I realize that losing my patience is detrimental to my cause, it becomes easier for me to maintain my cool.

10. Practice makes perfect: To be good at anything, we have to keep practicing at it.

11. Be patient to develop patience: Rome was not built in a day. Similarly, learning patience requires time and effort. Because the goal may seem far off, I focus on making progress on a daily basis. Trying to be more patient today compared to yesterday is a more manageable goal than expecting to be patient immediately.

12. Create healthy outlets for frustrations: Whenever I allow my frustrations to build, I find myself becoming shorter tempered than usual. Therefore I try to keep my frustration levels low through healthy alternatives such as sports.

13. Spiritual nourishment: Read books or listen to audiotapes about spirituality. By constantly nourishing my mind with such influences I naturally became calmer. And the calmer I was, the more patience I had.

14. Meditation: Meditation is a great way to help you become more patient. Constant meditation enables me to maintain my composure even under trying circumstances. By having greater control over my thoughts and emotions, patience becomes easier for me.

Parting Thoughts

The art of patience has been an ongoing process for me. There are days when I find that I am less patient than I should be. But overall I have indeed become more patient over the last 5 years. There is no mystery or secret to this. It is merely the result of continuous perseverance and effort. If I can do it, so can you.

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