One of the biggest secrets to achieving what you want in life is letting go of certain destructive thoughts so ingrained, you don’t realize they’re in your head.

It’s normal to have doubts in life. Things don’t always pan out, and you are bound to make mistakes in, say, love or a job interview . But there’s a problem with regularly assuming the worst outcome. Out of ego protection or a dip in self-assurance, you prepare for possible failure and, thus, inadvertently sabotage your chances.

How do you get out of this rut? You need to become cognizant of any pessimistic phrases you habitually feed yourself and switch your thinking to make it more cooperative with your ambitions. Kind of faking optimism. Here, six harmful thoughts and the instant trick to boost your confidence.

DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT #1: "I'm Not a People Person."

Many chicks resort to this spin to explain why they don’t effortlessly attract tons of attention at parties or keep people spellbound with witty conversation. But for the most part, it’s just an escape clause to avoid the awkwardness almost everyone feels when it comes to chatting and mingling.

“By ascribing it to your personality, you convince yourself that it’s something you can’t change and it isn’t your fault that you’re not a social butterfly,” explains life coach Judith Wright, author of The One Decision.

But the more you repeat this to yourself, the more it causes your social life to fester…leaving you less likely to connect with potential dates and pals. And this reinforces the idea that you’re just not good with people, trapping you in a negative cycle.

Mental flip: First, understand that pretty much everyone gets anxious when it comes to striking up conversations with strangers. Once you realize that this is very common, you won’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t leave an event with a bunch of new phone numbers, says Wright. Then redefine people person so that the new definition more realistically reflects your personality. For example, you might not be a natural party girl who meets dozens of guys or career contacts at every function, but you may be someone who’s really good at connecting with one or two interesting men or a potential boss.

“This is a much more positive way of thinking, so you’re more likely to succeed,” says Wright.

DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT #2: "If I Get Too Excited, I'll Jinx Things."

By some strange act of mental voodoo, you truly believe you’ll ruin a career move, a date with a new dude, or other awesome event by getting keyed up about it. “It’s a protective move: The only way not to be disappointed if things don’t work out is to keep your excitement muffled,” explains Lisa Firestone, PhD, coauthor of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice.

Problem is, when you stifle your enthusiasm, you’re subconsciously telling yourself that you don’t expect a happy ending...which affects your drive and, thus, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, others are likely to be influenced by your underlying negativity — say you’re going for a promotion but your boss senses a lack of passion, so you may not land the gig.

Mental flip: While it’s wise not to get so wound up that you put all of your eggs in one basket, you’ll increase your odds of success if you let yourself fully feel your excitement, says Firestone. In other words, daydream about that new guy becoming your boyfriend...but hold off on assuming he’s The One.

“When you allow yourself to imagine good things, the exhilaration fuels you and improves your chances of success,” says Firestone. “Even if things fail, your excitement makes you feel more alive and up for another try."