It is 3 o’clock in the morning and I am lying here in my bed wide awake, thinking about life in general and how happy I feel. The weekend that just passed was spent visiting friends that I had not seen in many years and in my mind I was rehashing the visit.

It was amazing to see how some of them had visibly changed, while a few others really had not. As we are getting up in years, it was interesting to observe their opinions on world issues and things that were going on in their lives.

All this thinking caused my mind to wander once more and I began thinking about some current friends that seem to be caught up in a time warp. While they are changing outwardly (time seems to do that,) they are still living in the past, happiness is eluding them as time marches on.
Everyday in one way or another, they are recycling the hurts (real or imagined) that they feel life or someone has bestowed upon them.

How often have you felt that way?

It is a natural feeling to look back and think of the “I should have’s or what if’s,” but to live in the past and blame all of the unhappiness in your life on someone or something is self defeating.

We all have things or someone that we could blame for all of life’s mishaps, if we tried hard enough. It is easy to blame a circumstance or an individual that caused us a problem at one time or another, but to use that same situation as a reason for the messes we have created in our lives is a very sad excuse.

None of us have had a so called “perfect life.” We are here to learn life’s lesson and then to go on to something better.
There is no reason to go through life carrying a burden of sadness, a feeling of abandonment or a feeling of inadequacy.

How many of us are suffering, really suffering inside ourselves?

No, we are not ill from a curable or non-curable sickness, but ill from feelings that have tormented us for most of our lives. These feelings can be caused by real or imagined circumstances that we continually feed with our thoughts.

Dwelling on them day after day, not on a constant basis, but every so often when something goes awry, we wander back to those old feelings and start blaming whatever it is or was for our current fate. We know that if this or that had not happened, our lives would be “oh, so much better.”
Woe is me, we think and wish we had a fairy godmother to wave her magic wand over us and make us feel happy.

Well, your wish is about to come true, because you, dear friend, can work some magic and become your own “fairy godmother.”

How you say?

By realizing that this, yes, in this very moment, you can change your life and everything in it. This is the “very first day of the rest of your life” and you have within yourself the power to change your world, but only if you truly want to.

It is time to take charge of yourself.

The only “if I had’s” do not bring happiness. Happiness is not a tangible item, you cannot hold happiness, touch it, smell it or eat it. You can only feel it. Happiness is a wonderful thing that comes from within and you are in charge of all the “inside stuff.”

Granted, there are those of us that enjoy wallowing around in a sea of self pity. It is great to have someone or something to blame for the mess in our lives. There is no reason why we should take responsibility for it. That is fine if you want to live “half a life,” but if you want to wake up in the morning and enjoy a happy feeling read on.

The first thing to realize is the past is past – it is over, gone, finished and will never appear again.

Think for a moment of something you dropped on the floor – say a glass of milk; the glass broke and the milk went all over the floor – you or someone cleaned up the mess, threw away the broken glass and the misdeed was over and done with. Can you bring back that glass and the milk? Of course not.

Life is exactly like that, things get broken, people hurt us, we are made to feel abandoned or maybe we are mistreated by those we love or others. It is not nice, but look at you now – you are alive, whole and in one piece - not one part of you is broken.

If you think of the past as a load of dirty white laundry – all you have to do is put it in the washing machine, add bleach and some soap – and what happens – it comes out white, clean and fresh. Life is exactly like dirty white laundry, your mind is the washing machine and you can either put some bleach and soap in it (putting the bad memories to rest) or you can try cleaning the thoughts with muddy water and they never come clean.

The choice is yours.

“Oh, it will take more than bleach and soap to get rid of my hurt,” you say.

Okay, try this method.

Write down on a piece of paper exactly what is bothering you. Be as explicit as you can be – write down every hurt and pain you feel. Really make it juicy. Then fold up the paper into a little square, find a small plastic container or a ziplock bag, put some water in it, add your letter and put it in a forgotten corner of your freezer. Now all your hurts and pain are in one place, you can get them anytime you feel the need to suffer, or if you are wise you will remember where they are, realize they are safe and cannot harm you any more.

You now have a clean slate to start your new life with.

I once kept a letter to my mother in the freezer for almost 12 years. I was afraid to take it out and throw it away. I thought if I did, the hurt and pain would come back to haunt me.

It didn’t.

This little method takes some courage because once all the hurts and pain are tucked away in the freezer, you have no one but yourself to blame for your life.

An easy way to initiate the start of your new life is to add or do something different to your everyday routine. Something that will remind you that you are a new you and you are out on your own. Change your hairstyle, try a new hair color, get a new purse, money clip, add a new color to your wardrobe or write “this is the first day of the rest of my life” on some yellow stickies and put them in places where you will see them daily.

Do something to remind you not to slip back into your old ways.

Realize too, that you are not alone, whatever your concept of a Universal Being is, rely on that for help. If you have no real belief system – realize that you are the “captain of your soul” and you are in charge.

You truly have the power to change your life, happiness is your birth right, believe in yourself.

Think about this: for many years you have been carrying around this “belief” that someone or something was causing all your problems and now you know that, just like the spilt milk, it is a memory that is “all gone.” Yes, it is all gone, you can bring it back in mind, but in reality all the bad is all gone – gone forever.

You cannot see it, hold it or actually feel it, it is not tangible, it is nothing more than a fragmented fragment of a long ago memory.

Today is a new day, you are a new you. You are creating a new life, with new memories, it is a new and exciting adventure.

Quit wallowing around, take the first baby step, grab a balloon and fly.

Today is the “Very First Day of Your Real Life” - go for it.

This article is a bit of a change from my usual articles on cats and dogs. There are many sides to this person I have become through the years, it is said age makes you wise. I do not profess wisdom as one of my strong points, but I do profess that the years have given me insight into this thing called "life." I will from time to time wander away from my usual cat and dog stuff and wander into the realm of life and its possibilities. Please come and visit me at http://www.cats-and-dogs-on-the-web.com