Lots of people will have made New Year's Resolutions for 2009. If so, I wonder how many are the same as ones they made at the beginning of 2008? Often we decide on 1st January that we are going to do things differently this year. But, come February we can find that we've slipped back into our old way of doing things.

The mistake we make is in trying to change everything at once. And usually, New Year's Resolutions consist of depriving ourselves of something, or forcing ourselves to do something we don't really want to do! Getting motivated is tough under these conditions. Maybe "quit smoking, cut down on alcohol and chocolate, reduce credit card spending, lose weight, get rid of clutter, etc" make it onto some lists year after year. You think to yourself - here we go again! So what can we do differently to get different results?

Ditch the resolutions! Yes, you heard me right! It is much more powerful to set intentions and goals for what you DO want, rather than what you don't want. Also, try concentrating on one or two life areas each quarter of the year. Consider your health and fitness, finances, career, home life, relationships, personal dreams. Decide which one thing would make the biggest difference to you if you worked on it this year and start there. With just one major change to concentrate on, you are much more likely to make headway. The feeling of achievement will then give you the motivation to carry on.

Instead of just launching headlong into resolutions and goals, this is a good time of year to take stock. Taking stock works best as a written exercise as you can go back and review it again later, but you can still benefit from just thinking things through. Ask yourself: What did I achieve in 2008. What were the highlights, personally and professionally? What would I like to have done differently? What have I learned from that? What are the most important roles I play in my life? For instance, if being a parent is most important to you, do your working hours reflect that? What do I want more of in 2008 and what do I want less of? Is there any area of my life where I might be limiting myself or afraid to move forward? Who are the people in my life I want to see more of - or less of? What do I want to be true for me at the end of 2008? Remember to live in the present! Don't put off doing what you truly want to do. Don't wait till you lose the weight, find a new relationship or get that client. Enjoy your life now!

If you can't imagine not having resolutions, really think about why you want to make changes. What are the long term benefits? Reframe how you look at your "resolutions". For instance, instead of counting calories, cutting out everything you enjoy and feeling deprived, try making the new regime about healthy eating. Fresh food made from scratch, instead of ready meals, might be the only change you need to make in your eating habits.

If you really want to go to the gym three times a week, go for it! Otherwise consider the alternatives - walk more, take up a new sport or go to a dance class. Exercise doesn't have to mean the gym.

To tackle overspending, keep a spending log. If you really know where the money goes it's easy to make savings and you can still afford to treat yourself from time to time. Remember, it can take as little as 21 days to form a new habit.

A fun exercise you might like to try: Imagine it is December 2009 Write down an account of the year you have just had, as if it had already happened. What do you want to be true for you at the end of 2009? Don't edit or criticise what you write. Look at all areas of your life - career, relationships, finances, health and fitness, social life etc. This is even more powerful if you hand write it as this connects more directly with your subconscious than using your computer. Try to take stock of your life every few months. It really will pay enormous dividends. Have a great year.

Shona Partridge is a small business marketing and PR expert and coach. She works with women entrepreneurs and the self employed, teaching PR, Marketing, Writing and Confidence skills. Shona is a licensed "Get Clients Now!" facilitator, PR professional, experienced coach and trained journalist. She's the author of "Self Belief for the Self Employed: How Boosting your Confidence Can Boost Your Business" a new CD and workbook programme and creator of the marketing and PR training system"Marketing Mastery, 12 Key Steps to Success".

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