Motivational speaker Tony Robbins has a great saying: ‘If you want a better quality of life, ask better questions.’ What you focus on is determined by the questions you ask yourself. The very broad standpoint of ‘what’s good about this?’ vs. ‘what’s bad about this?’ can make a huge difference in your energy from moment to moment. If you want to have fun, just ask yourself, ‘How can I make this more fun?’

It sounds simple, and it is, but it’s not easy. There are a couple of things to keep in mind when asking yourself questions. First, you must ask in a way that expects an answer. If you ask the question with confidence that you will get an answer, you will get an answer. If you throw a question out into the air without really believing you will get an answer, then you won’t.

Second, your brain will answer any question you give it. As such, ask questions that lead to positive results. For example, if you ask yourself, ‘why do I always mess this up?’ your brain will give you an answer. Perhaps it will say, ‘because you are a lazy slob who has never achieved anything.’ Then, your subconscious will say, ‘oh yeah, I forgot.’ Now, you don’t improve anything, and you have reinforced an identity of being a lazy slob who never achieves anything. Rather than asking ‘why do I always mess this up?’ try asking, ‘how can I make sure that this time I make it happen?’

Third, make your questions specific. For example, if you have an event to go to that you are not looking forward to, and you ask yourself, ‘How can I have fun today?’ the response you may very well get would be, ‘Don’t go!’ Rather, ask yourself, ‘What can I do to make sure that I have a good time at this event?’

Take a moment and think about some situation that usually makes you unhappy. Now think about what questions you ask yourself regarding that situation. Now try to ask yourself different, better questions. See how it feels. Also, pay attention to your own inner dialog when something unexpected happens. What are the first questions you ask yourself? If they are not supporting you, change them as quickly as possible to shift your focus to a better place.

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Avish Parashar
http://www.AvishParashar.com