1. Being Yourself. The first guaranteed way of bringing real happiness into your life is to BE YOURSELF. Let no one take away the essence of you. Those who don't like you being yourself usually mean you no good. They are seeking to control you or to have you behave to an ideal they have set in their head. It is also connected with envy of you and so never try to please some ideal because you will never make the grade and will only be superficial. Just make sure you are yourself. Those who like you will flock to you and nurture and reinforce you in ways that can only enhance you.

2. Know What You Want. If you don't know what you want, how will you know it when it presents itself in front of you? How can you be happy if you do not know what will make you happy and contented? You have to know the things which please you and the type of people who will press your buttons. It means that you will avoid the negative things which drag you down or the people who will derail you because you will see them coming from afar. Know who you are and you will know what you want which can only increase your happiness.

3. Live Your Principles. My mother used to say: "People who sit on fences get their backsides blown off," and another famous saying is: "If you sit in the middle of the road you will get run over." Stay on one side of the road or another. Do not take the middle ground because that is a sign of not having the courage to face up to your convictions. If you believ in something, you should be prepared to defend it. The middle road does not guarantee any cover from adversity or any trust from others because they believe you will be vulnerable to changing easily for convenience. They are never sure what to expect of you. It is fear of people's reactions and the consequences why we like to hover in the middle. No matter how hard wyou try, not everyone will like you when you stick to your principles, but everyone will be clear about where you stand. They will know that you cannot be bought, which then increases your credibility, sincerity and respect. Like Barack Obama, who from the very first day expressed his disagreement about the war in Iraq. He didn't have many friends back then with that view, but he stuck to his guns to reap the rewards now when people know better. Being consistent in his principles, and being ready to defend them, has dramatically increased the trust placed in him.

4. Appreciate Your Blessings. How many times each day do you give thanks for everything you enjoy in your life? When did you last give thanks for your parents, your children, your job, your achievements or your quality of life. Better still, when did you last give thanks for life itself? Our lives are not automatic. The only moment we are guaranteed is that moment in time when we are aware of what we are doing. That single minute of thought and awareness. Soon it passes into history so that by half past nine, whatever we were doing at 9 o'clock is history. We can never retrieve that moment or get back to it. So life does not consist of the past or the future but of the present, this moment you have. Please don't take it for granted because it could be the last you have. You will find that the more you give thanks for everything in your life regularly, especially when so many others have so little or have been robbed of their life, is the more you will have to be grateful for. Somehow tremendous things follow on the heels of gratitude.

5. Forgiveness. When we forgive someone else, we are mainly forgiving ourself and allowing us to move on. If someone does you a wrong, the more you think of them in vengeful, hurtful terms is the more you remain connected to them by an invisible thread so that no matter what you do, the negative thoughts you carry about them will also dictate the way you feel and your own contentment. The best gift you can give to yourself, and that person, is to forgive them. Life is not made up of single acts that we use to condemn others forever. Every day begins a new journey and what happens in the past should be used as learning tools for our enhancement and then left alone. It should not be carried forever like a baggage or a burden to interfere with our future. In that case we are not growing or evolving, just staying stuck in the same rut of negativity thinking the same old thoughts. Free yourself from the past by forgiving others, no matter how bad the deed. They cannot go back in time to correct it or change it in anyway, but your forgiveness could uplift them enough to change their life for the better.

6. Love More. This might seem so easy to say and do, but it isn't. Most of us believe that we do not deserve love. Or that others don't deserve it either, so we withhold it in favour of negativity when love is the only thing that can move mountains. Do you find it easy to praise? To compliment? Be kind? Helpful? At ease? Those are all aspects of love. When we fear reactions, we are coming from an insecure base which lacks love. If we feel the need for love, we have to give love first, otherwise that is just waiting for others to fulfil our needs without us expressing our real feelings. Kindness, compassion, gratitude and appreciation are all aspects of love. How much of them have you displayed lately? We tend to get what we give out, so if you are currently feeling lonely and unloved, when did you last truly love someone without expecting anything back in return? The minute love becomes a priority in our life, our quality of living becomes magical because it spreads to everything we touch.

7. Allow Life to Unfold. We spend our time trying to control our lives in a futile way. But life will ALWAYS do what it wants, with or without us. Just as how we cannot control our deaths, so we cannot really control life. But we are so determined to control it, we hardly realise that most of our pain and hurt comes from doing just that. Once we do what we love best, and leave the rest to the gods, life takes on a different meaning and a different course. Often we do not listen to those inner voices which know more than we do. We ignore something we should do in preference to want we feel ought to happen then, when things do not work, or we are disappointed, we use hindsight to judge our actions and to put ourselves down.

Let life unfold in front of you and you'll be guaranteed some wonderful surprises. Your thoughts on what is possible are very limited. Your capacity to dream big-time can never be as big as what the Universe or your God can deliver. After all, if someone had told J K Rowling 10 years ago, when she was a struggling single mother unable to even afford heating for her child, that she would be Britain's richest woman in 2006, after the Queen, she would have said "No way!" She had great self belief and thought she would be very successful with her books. But a billionaire so quickly from her position? Not likely. Yet, she held her belief, did what she loved best, her writing and her Harry Potter stories, and let life took its natural course. The rest, as they say, is history.

The lesson here is that J K Rowling didn't just care about being a millionaire. She cared more about her stories, how they actually developed and them reaching a wider audience. Of course, once you live to purpose, the money just naturally follows alongside of personal happiness through the simple achievement of your desires and making that difference to others.

Elaine Sihera
http://www.ecademy.com/user/elainesihera