What is it that gives some people a vast reservoir of self confidence, and others such a crushing lack of it? It is almost like there is only a finite amount and when one person increases their self confidence then it drains it from someone else. Here I am going to show you that anyone can build their confidence and give you my 5 top tips to building rock solid self confidence:

Tip #1 - Make a list of your strong points or successes. Yes I know you don't want to do this part, nobody ever does! However if you write out every weekend a list of all your positive achievements in life, all your strengths and everything you have to be grateful about, then you are slowly increasing your self confidence. Forget about any negative events or any weaknesses, play a game with me and just pretend that they are not there while you write.

Tip #2 - Never openly put yourself down or say you are not capable of something. This had a huge effect on me and my self confidence, and it is amazing just how often we do this, and what a detrimental effect it can have on your psyche. If you are talking to someone and you say something like, 'I could never do that, I'm just not good with figures' etc, then you are affirming negativity about yourself. You may see it as a passing remark, a gentle jibe at yourself or just a joke, but in reality you are letting your subconscious know that you don't have confidence in yourself. Stop doing it, say instead, 'I could do that if I brushed up on my grasp of figures'. You can do anything you put your mind to, now start your mind believing that! If you catch yourself saying anything negative then just stop and switch it round to saying something positive. You will soon start to notice that you say negative things a lot more than you would imagine.

Tip #3 - Set daily goals Self confidence is built up in small positive steps. Each day set yourself a goal, in can be something easy or something hard, as long as you know you can achieve it. Write down that you are going to achieve this and go out and do it. When you finish the day write down that you achieved your goal and any comments about it you would like to make. If you fail to meet your goal then just move it to the next day and don't comment on it. You will soon find that you enjoy the feeling of achieving something every day and your self confidence grows as you see that you can achieve you goals consistently, you start to believe in yourself.

Tip #4 – Model people We all have people that we look up to, whether in work or out of work, well if they have the self confidence that you want then you can model them. The best way to do it is to speak to them to see if they have any tips for you, but I know that could be embarrassing, so start to model the way they walk, the way they stand, start to watch how they handle situations. When you come across a tricky situation try and think how the person you are modelling would handle it, you will be amazed at the boost in self confidence this 'play acting' can give you. It kind of absolves you of the responsibility of being confident for a time, and in the end you get so used to playing confident that you are!

Tip #5 – Visualise your success Take the time out at the end of the day to visualise yourself successfully doing whatever it is you have to do the next day, run through it all in your head going to plan. Then when the time comes you have effectively done it all before, and done it perfectly, so you will lose some of the nerves and will be more confident. Each time you do this and pull it off the next day then your self confidence will slowly blossom!

Now I know some of these seem like hard work, and we all hate hard work, but please agree to try them out for 30 days, what is 30 days in the long run for the confidence that you desire? If they do not work for you then discard them, but they will and you will see an increase in your self confidence in a very short period of time. If you have any setbacks then just forget about them and continue on the upwards spiral towards the supremely confident new you!

James Beckett
http://www.acceleratedlife.com/