There will come a time in everyone’s life when you will cross the bridge of disappointment. We are all aiming for those things or results that we think will make us happy. That is why they are called dreams. We really don’t know if we will be happy when we reach them as we haven’t experienced them before. We just hope that they will give us some type of fulfilment.

What happens if and when you reach that goal that you have set for yourself, you get bitterly disappointed with what you now have reached? Not many people actually think about this. A lot of people actually think that if only they reach that goal or dream they have in place, their lives will be so much better.

Now the reality is that the odds are that you will appreciate and relish all that you have achieved when you get there and you will in fact enjoy the spoils of your effort, but there still is a small chance your goal may fall short of your perceived expectation.

Let me give you a personal (but simplistic) example just to show you what I mean.

If you have heard me speak live or read any of my books, you will know that I am a car freak. I just love cars. So much so, they are part of my goal structure. Recently I decided to buy the car that had taken my breath away every time I saw one on the street. It was a bit of a stretch but I decided to aim at getting that car, so I focused all of my attention in my work to ensure that that car would be mine.

Then I went out and bought it and it turned out to be a whole lot less rewarding that I had expected. I have had nothing but dramas with that car. Everything has seemed to go wrong with that car, so much so that I now want to get out of that car and into anything but that car.

You see this was (what I thought) my ultimate dream. I thought that if I just achieved that goal I would be overly happy and on top of the world. I never anticipated anything going wrong.

Now I could just dwell on the negatives or I could just move on and put it down to a learning experience. I realise that this may be totally different to what your goals or dreams may be, but the principle is the same. No one can see into the future to see if we will be happy with what we desire. We will only know when we get there. If things aren’t what you expected, then you have two choices.
1. Sit and focus on the disappointment
2. move on and learn from your disappointment

There is one guarantee about life. You will come across disappointment throughout your life. The true measure of a successful person is one who handles that disappointment with grace and dignity. The last thing you want or need is constant focus on something that has upset you.

Was I upset about my car? You bet. But after I vented my frustration I need to move on. Otherwise all of my attention will be focused at something that only brings more frustration.

Have I learnt a lesson? Sure have. Will I remember it? Sure will, as you need to when you face disappointment.

Without sounding too negative, you will experience disappointments throughout you life, how you handle them will measure your success AFTER that disappointment.

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Justin Herald