The first thing that you should do is to take a quick step back and appraise your life. For too long you have been looking from the inside out of your life, and you may not be able to spot the mistakes that you have been making, so you need to get yourself out of this perspective and look at the big picture. When you are able to look at the blueprint of your life, then you will be able to see what areas you need to strategise.

Next, you need to breathe deep and find a space where you can meditate and relax. A clear and focused mind is one of the most important things you need to have to be able to regain your confidence and self esteem. When your mind is cluttered with negative thoughts or of work (they are one and the same sometimes), then you are not able to concentrate on the act itself.

You now need to strategise. What is it you want to do. Set down clear objectives of what you want to achieve in regards to your own personal development and set out from there. It can be anything from just gaining a little confidence, too being able to talk to the girl you always liked or to even excel at presentations at work. The thing about this is that when one thing happens, it will spill over to the rest of your life.

Make a list of the things that are uniquely you – the positives and the negatives and with this list, you can now find out what is so bad about you and what your natural gifts are. This way you know what to concentrate on and what areas in your life need improvement. When making this list, always recruit the help of your peers and the people that are around you a lot, and by doing so, your list will more accurately reflect the good and bad about you.

Another thing you need to understand is the need to celebrate you achievements as much as you can, and this is the method of channelling as much positive energy as you can to yourself. Whenever you reach a milestone, have a small celebration and involve as many people as you can. This way, the positive energy counter will build up in your favour.

Also, make a list of these achievements, and this will be called your feel good list. Look at it anytime you need to so that you will feel good about yourself, especially during the times of duress in your life. This list can mean the difference between slipping back into areas of low self esteem and the road to a more confident and convincing you.

Last but not least, you need to track your ‘emotional progress’ – to say the least. Knowing whether or not you are improving will help you to re assess the methods that you are using as well as allow you to understand the seriousness of the problem. If conventional methods like these do not work, then a psychologist could be of help to you.

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