Your level of self esteem has a big impact on your life. The higher you raise it, the more you will change your life to be confident and happy. However, you may be confused about self esteem – just what is it? That question in itself is an indication of an area where you have low self esteem. If you are not clear on what is your self esteem, you will have a great deal of difficulty in raising it…

The definition of Self Esteem

There have been a lot of attempts to define self esteem, many of which seem to miss one or another key point. One of the best definitions is in the book The Six Pillar of Self Esteem – “The disposition to experience yourself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness”.

Being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life means that you believe in the competence of your mind and it’s ability to grasp your situation clearly, make good decisions and learn what you need to know. You trust yourself and you are self reliant.

This deals purely with your mind and your mental ability to deal with the world about you. There is no mention of physical ability. We are creatures of the mind, we create and shape our worlds with the power of our minds, we can use our minds to overcome physical challenges.

Being competent to cope means that you are in actively in control of your life. You are not just a passive victim of circumstances.

Being worthy of happiness means that you respect yourself, you believe that you are worthy of all the good things that life brings to you and that you are right to assert your wants and needs in a way that is appropriate to the situation. You believe that being happy is one of your fundamental rights.

Being worthy of happiness means that you can participate in a community with other people that is based on win-win relationships, mutual trust and respect. You are not either cut off from the human race or on the other hand a mindless individual desperate to conform to the tribe.

Self esteem is more important in today’s world than ever before. Self esteem is about believing that you can cope with the rapid changes that we are all experiencing. It is also about being able to make the right choices. As a species we are free to choose and if you have high self esteem you will make good moral choices.

Don’t confuse self esteem with self love, arrogance, egotism

It is very important to realise that self esteem is not a negative thing. You might have sometimes thought of having high self esteem as being “full of yourself” but this is not the same thing. I hope you can see from the definition, that someone with high self esteem can be a modest person who does not need to tell everyone how great they are.

Another meaning of the word esteem is something that you value or love. This can lead you to confuse self esteem with self love. Self esteem is about valuing yourself as a person but it is not self love.

Self esteem is a fundamental aspect of your life, it enables you to be free to live a happy, productive, constructive life with your fellow human beings on this planet. It should not be confused with many of the negative qualities that are visible in people who appear to have a high opinion of themselves – true self esteem is quietly confident in it’s own abilities.

Kevin John
http://www.achieving-your-dreams.com/articles/getart.php?id=18&cat=all&lay=20