It is difficult for many people to clearly and concisely state their thoughts and feelings. When children first learn to talk, they are often admonished when they state the bare truth about something or someone. That is not nice—you can’t say that to Grandma, Grandpa or Uncle Lu.” Or heaven forbid if the child points out something quite obvious to a neighbor or friend. Thus, a child quickly learns that truth and perceptions are forbidden and hypocrisy and half-truths or white lies is the communication style to emulate.

There are a plethora of books addressing the issue of honest communication and authenticity. And although many people read and agree with the premise, it is still painfully difficult to break out of the family prohibition to speak one’s authentic truth. Many people hide their true thoughts and feelings because they are afraid that their feelings, thoughts and ideas will alienate them from others or leave them vulnerable as the prohibitions ring in their ears.

Practicing effective communication skills will enhance the probability you will communicate effectively. The four essential tools in effective communication are:

1. establishing a frame of reference;
2. asking clarifying questions;
3. paraphrasing;
4. listening for the words behind the words (understanding feelings)

http://ezinearticles.com/?Communication-Dynamics--Send-a-Congruent-Message&id=121804

Real communication takes place when the listener understands the meaning of what the speaker says. While understanding the real meaning of the message being sent is essential to communication, it is not easy to accomplish.

Miscommunication is more prevalent than ever imagined. In fact miscommunication is so frequent it can be said to be a normal occurrence. Therefore, any work to create effective communication needs to start with that premise.

Anyone who cares deeply about you will continue to do so when you have communicated effectively and authentically. Even though your thoughts and feelings might be difficult to hear, they are a part of who you truly are, and to hide what you think and feel is tantamount to telling a falsehood. It is easier and far more rewarding to speak your whole and authentic truth. Allow your gregariousness to help you speak authentically.

Talking and listening brings great pleasure to one’s life. You need be as interested in hearing what others have to say as you are in expressing yourself.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net