Miriam Webster's definition of an opinion is a "view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter." The first thing that we need to realize about an opinion is that it resides in the mind of the person who has it. Only your opinions in your mind can have a direct effect on you. In an average day of work I make anywhere from 50 to 100 phone calls. A gross majority of the contacts that I make do not have a very high appraisal of me, my presentation, or my service. In most cases this is due to a lack of understanding on the part of the prospect most likely due to a lack of communication on my part.

A very miniscule amount of this rejection ever has any kind of effect on my mental wellbeing. On the other hand there are some people whose opinions can translate directly into my own judgment or appraisal. If my parents, client, spouse, boss, or siblings have a negative judgment of a particular action that I may have taken or view that I may have, that judgment is very meaningful to me. I have come to find that the only time that another person's opinion truly matters is when we are seeking to receive something from that person and us receiving what we want is contingent upon them having a positive opinion. For example when selling a product or service the seller wants the business. Whether or not the prospect goes ahead with the transaction depends on their opinion of the proposal. Here is where the separation from negative emotion can take place.

If your livelihood is not determined by the transaction then there should be no hard feelings. I would propose that if you are representing a product or service you better truly believe that it is a "10". This is especially the case if your next meal depends on a single transaction. Therefore if you have a product that is a "10" and it is not a fit for a particular client at the given time, or they are not ready to make the commitment for one reason or another, and you are sticking your neck out on the line for your cause then you will have no problem moving on the next prospect. You have the confidence in your product; their opinion of it doesn't really matter. If you look back on your interaction and see a place where there may have been miscommunication by all means see if there is an opportunity to clear up the misunderstanding but, if your communication was effective and your product is undoubtedly terrific there is no outside opinion that matters.

Outside of the business world one of people's greatest fears is that of others having a negative opinion of them. Most of the time people are not thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves, and maybe about what you are thinking about them. So the first thing to do is ask. If your friend hasn't called you in a month before you assume that they are upset with you give them a call and ask why not. Often times it is because you haven't called them in a month or because they were in the Bahamas or some other perfectly good reason. The second thing you need to do is be open to suggestion. If your boss flat out tells you that your idea is stupid and will never work it may be a good time to reevaluate your plan. Do not be concerned with the manner in which your boss conveys her opinion. Believe it or not she is communicating in the most effective way she knows. If you take another look at your idea and find that you really do believe that it is flawless or adjust it to be flawless and your boss still has a negative opinion of it then you have to decide what actions you wish to take moving forward.

Next ask yourself what it is you want from the person that has the opinion. Is it a pay raise, a commission, sex, respect? Do you even know why you are giving value to this person's opinion? Finally ask if what you want is really contingent upon a positive opinion. Maybe the raise is "not in the budget" regardless of your behavior, perhaps the commission is coming from the office next-door and most likely you either have their respect or your not going to get it. If you want them to have a good opinion because you want them to be happy remember that there is nothing that you can do to make anyone else in the world happy except yourself.

Jaime is a mother of two and entreprenuer. For another powerful way to create the desired success in your life go to http://www.jaimeadriance.com