We all want to be happy. That's our final goal. Now, what does it mean to be happy for each of us? Many times we say to ourselves that we'll be happy when we win the lottery, when we but "that" house, when we get "that" job, when "that person loves me. Can we be happy long before, that is, now?

Why we have to do it it's obvious. The problem is how we do it.

From my own experience I know that it's not easy. Worries come in the form of negative hypothetical scenarios in the lines of "what will happen when I don't do/when I don't have..." We got scared because we don't know how to react if that moment came and we feel overwhelmed by incertitude.

My point of view is to have a realist attitude and have a crisis plan ready for each of those worries.

Do the following exercise. In a blank sheet, list all the things that scare you about the future, all the bad things you think can happen to you and that take your sleep away. For example:

That you get evicted
To have an incurable disease
Not being able to keep on renting
Not find your life partner
Being robbed
Etc

Once you have the list, be honest with yourself and ask you what are the real chances that these things actually happen. I mean that, if you haven't been paying your rent for months, being evicted is a real urgent possibility but if you're just signing in the contract and you're thinking that maybe a year from now maybe the company where you work closes down or maybe they'll fire you so you get anxious because maybe you won't be able to pay your rent, that is not urgent and for that particular worry you can prepare in advance.

Assign priorities to your list from 1 to 10 according to a) the urgency of the matter and b) the ACTUAL possibilities of it happening (1 would be the most urgent and real that can happen to you and 10 the least).

To better organize yourself, copy your list in order in a new blank sheet starting with worry nº 1, then nº 2 etc

Now concentrate in worry nº 1 and think what you can do about it. After you say "Nothing! I can't do anything!", think again. Let's go back to the eviction scenario. Do you have a way to get the money (legally)? Can you borrow from someone? Do you have where to live in case the eviction notice comes? Where will you put your things in that case? Focusing in possible alternatives is more positive than just crying and will give you better results than hoping to be saved by a superhero.

Do the same with all your worries. When you come to the ones less urgent and worrying you might realize that they're not real worries. Maybe they are society problems (such as terrorism or unemployment) and there's really no way to measure the real impact upon your life. If you want to feel safer, make contingency plans for them. Prepare for what it could arrive. Get your things ready and in order if you find yourself in a worst case scenario.

In Argentina, where I live, a few years ago the biggest worry was unemployment. With a high unemployment rate, if you were laid off it was not very likely that you would find another job soon. In that scenario, to prepare for the worst was common sense. If you didn't have enough savings, to think of going to the Caribbean on vacations maybe wasn't the best you could do. Maybe the best was to travel to a less expensive place and save a percentage of it in case you were laid off.

Except in very specific cases, we can prepare for the rest and if we have concrete plans, the impact in our present life is minimized and you can concentrate in something that provides more value.

Claudia Juarez BA, Motivation & Career Coach, teaches professionals how to be happier in their lives and jobs from the inside-out through a unique approach to motivation.
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