"Only insecure people need security. Secure people know that there's no such thing. Security comes from within, when you know you can handle anything." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

"What positive thing would you do if you weren't afraid of what people thought?" This was a question asked by one of my favorite internet marketing gurus (Joe Vitale) in an email last week. He was in the middle of making a decision about a significant financial commitment involving his business. And as he said: "Truth is, I'm nervous. I'm nervous because I'm afraid of what people will think." Despite all the successes Joe has to draw from in his past to remind him that everything works out in the end, he was still nervous.

Why?

Because he wants people to like him. Joe said he remembered hearing Rod Serling, the creator of The Twilight Zone TV series, once say that he was as sensitive as anyone else to people's comments and criticisms. Most of us can relate, I know I can. It's a common need to want to be liked or want to please others.

Just a few days ago someone who I had never met sent me an email, so hurtful that it caused me to doubt myself. This person had misinterpreted some communication from me and had jumped to conclusions without asking. While I appreciated this person's candor, my initial response was shock and to feel like I had done something wrong.

I had to really dig deep into my coaching training to release the "what did I do wrong" thoughts and to move on. It was an excellent lesson for me. A lesson in being self-directed; to be "independent of the good opinion of others" as Wayne Dyer so eloquently puts it. No one can make you into what you are not. Drop the worry about your reputation; reputation exists in the minds of others and therefore is not in your control. What is in your control is how you choose to be and how you act on daily basis.

Stop letting your success be affected by what other people say. Care about them, listen to them and take what's valuable, just don't be stopped by what they say. Believe in yourself and follow your internal guidance. Continued success awaits you!

Vicki Miller
www.thrivingthroughchange.com