The conversation tip that I'm going to offer today is the art of complimenting. A truly charismatic speaker will know how to charm people by making them feel good about themselves.

There are two things that I find are important when complimenting someone on something you appreciate about them.

1) Appreciate the person for what's real about him, and not necessarily what he does only. 2) Don't wait till the end to compliment, compliment when it feels natural and comes up from the gut feeling.

And one of the best ways to to make someone feel great is to be able to make the person feel appreciated for who she is. And here's the big difference between that small sense of charm versus that really big sense of charm. Are you able to appreciate someone for who they REALLY are?

I'm not just talking about what they do, or how they dress, or if they have great tastes in picking out antiques, it's about what values that lie behind that compliment that you are offering to that person.

Let's look at this more carefully, here's an example of appreciating someone for what she does.

1) Wow, you're a published writer, that's so amazing. 2) Wow, you're a published writer, I admire you for being such a creative person and being ambitious at the same time.

Did you feel and see the difference? The first one I complimented on her being amazing for being a writer. But I didn't really mention what was amazing about being a writer. I look deeper and try to understand what exactly makes a published writer amazing.

But in number 2, what I did was that I decided to compliment her on who she really was. She's not just a writer, she's this person that has creativity that she can express. She has values of being ambitious and determined. And this is where social charisma comes in...seeing people for who they really are down deep inside.

We do many things on a daily basis. When our mom cooks, being a great cook is what she does, but because she cooks for us because she loves and cares about us is who she really is. Having a friend that is able to find you deal on a great car is what he does, but what you respect about him is the fact that he's willing to sacrifice his energy and time to help out other people.

Then there's also ensuring that you compliment when it feels natural. If you wait around until the end to compliment people you're going to have a tough time. Sometimes it's best to express what we feel in our gut as it comes out. This is because there's a reason why we're feeling it on our gut.

Let's say you meet a nurse and she's so nice and I was her patient. Let's say she decides to help me out of my bed, and she does it with gentle and ease and smiles as well. Then for me that would be the moment I would compliment her, I would say "I want you to know, how much I appreciate the kind of person you are. Caring, patient and understanding. I know whether you're here, or with your family, you treat everybody you meet in the same manner. Thank you for being such a wonderful person."

I don't wait till the end of my stay, or ten minutes later, I say what's in my heart right away. This way it comes off as genuine. You don't have time to think, you don't have time to make it perfect, you don't have time to be anxious you say what you feel at that moment and it will always come off as real.

Powerful isn't it?

So what's you're challenge today, go out and compliment people. This week go and compliment three other people, and do it when your gut tells you that it feels right. Compliment them on what's real.

Vincent Ng is a conversation coach. He has taught conversation courses to hundreds of people on how to be more charismatic in social and professional environments. He is the author of the book, Art of Conversation: From Small Talk to Deep Conversations, you can visit his website http://www.practiceconversation.com