Do you ever find yourself complaining to others, to the universe, or to God about the course of events in your life? If so do you ever ask yourself what purpose such complaining is supposed to fulfill for you?

Strange question isn't it? That is because you probably never thought it even had a purpose until now did you? Rather it probably just feels like an automatic behavior that is out of your control.

Well if you think about it for a moment I think you'll recognize that the underlying purpose might include some of the following:

1. To get sympathy for your situation so you'll feel better.

2. To get right into justifying your victim hood so that you can solicit pity from yourself or others so that you can feel better.

3. To solicit some form of rescue or help from others so that you won't have to address the situation yourself.

4. So that you can get yourself off the hook from being responsible and accountable for your current situation.

5. So that you won't have to face your fears of making mistakes in attempting to fix whatever is not right in your life.

6. To portray yourself as a victim because victims get attention and respect here on planet earth from others.

Do I have to go on or are you becoming more conscious of what I'm talking about.

Does any of this feel good to you? If you feel how it feels to become aware of any of this I think you will see that none of it feels good.

You might be feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

Well what does that tell you? It tells you that holding onto such needs reduces both the quality of your life and your sense of personal integrity.

Is that what you want? I doubt it.

Such patterns of behavior have likely been so ingrained in your way of relating to the world that you may feel hard pressed to change any of them.

A place to begin is to recognize that no one other than yourself is responsible for your life situation.

Hard pill to swallow? Well what’s the alternative?

It’s to believe that you have little or no control over your life. Does that make you feel better?

If you notice how that feels I think you will start to find in those feelings the motivation you will need to shift your entire perspective on yourself.

This easier said than done however especially if you choose to go on entertaining the many lies about who you are not and what you are not capable of.

Dr. Nick Arrizza
http://www.telecoaching4u.com