Wow, there's so much to respond to here Draginized, but I'll just focus on one aspect of your saga(s) and that is the subject of drinking Baijiu (a/k/a Chinese "wine"). Like everyone else, males especially, when I first arrived in China, employers, managers, sometimes students were offering me glasses of Baijiu and cigarettes as a gesture of hospitality. As I don't smoke or drink, I politely declined these offers. What I quickly discovered is that if one refuses such invitations the first time, the host(s) usually will not continue to offer and understand that you have a different social habit.

I understand that drinking alcohol and smoking is an important cultural component of conducting business in China. Of course, it's not the same in the U.S. I learned as much as possible about Chinese culture and social practice and traditions before I went to China in 2003. I tried to honor and respect Chinese tradition as much as possible, but on the subject of drinking and smoking, I felt no obligation to indulge as it is determental to my health (and judgement). As I am diabetic, that was an additional reason I avoided drinking Baijiu (I also happen to intensely dislike the smell of Baijiu).

If you take one drink with them, they will never allow you to refuse a second or third round of drinks; but if your establish your own preferences to them politely, they usually will refrain from making follow-up offers (at least in my years of experience). It can also be quite amusing (and/or horrifying) to be the only sober guest at the table.

I sometimes discussed this cultural/busniess tradition with my adult students in English Corner. It was amazing to me how many men admitted to me that they truly did not like to participate in so much drinking, and smoking especially. It's outrageous to me that so many Chinese people will do something unhealthy that they don;t want to do just to develop a "business relationship," or not "lose face."

China has 50% of all liver cancer in the entire world. This tragic fact is largely due to the high volume of smoking, drinking, and consumption of "preserved" foods. So many people are killing themselves, not because they actually enjoy drinking and smoking, but merely to uphold an archaic social business tradition and expectation. Insanity.