I'm not qualified to teach English - I am an ex coal miner. I don't mind teaching in a polluted envirnment that most westerners would shun. I want to teach in a dirty backwater that has great difficulty attracting foreign teachers, more chance of being appeciated there by my Chinese boss. I need enough money to eat out in small, dirty restaurants,

I can recommend Anne. She can fix you up with a teaching job in a minor city of Hebei province, such as Handan or Xingtai. Her e-mail address is teachingjobs@163.com

If you get tired of eating out at cheap local restaurants, you can cook in your apartment.

Egg and chips, three fried eggs plus one kilo or so of white potato French fries will set you back around 4 RMB, and you'll be full up. You can buy small dried red chillis and eat them whole while having your meal. The beer will go down all the better with such a spicy mouthful of food. Heaven on earth!

Another good way to eat cheaply is to bring a toaster over here. Buy steamed bread, and slice it. Then you can make toast. You can buy a caterer's tub of bean curd in red sauce for a low price. It'll last you ages. Spread the bean curd onto the toast. Tastes just like cheese, which is hard to get here, and very overpriced if at all available. The bread here is overpriced and sweet. Don't buy it. Steamed bread is ace.

As for your associations with tarts, ensure you've 5,000 RMB available in case you're nabbed in a compromising situation with one of them by the police. Unlikely, but it's best to have it covered. Find a tart with her own pad. Usually she'll be sharing it with another one. Go there for a good time. Backwater sex will cost you around 200 RMB a shot or two with that kind of woman. Avoid pink rooms and red light districts, too expensive and excessive cheating there.