You should contact the SAFEA. You can quote the SAFEA guidelines directly to your employer.

Wrong way round!

You are obliged to approach your employer and draw his attention to contract breeches on his part. Then ask him to take immediate steps to resolve the situation. Have a witness with you when you do this.
Only in the event of you and your employer being unable to resolve the dispute should you approach SAFEA, and as a last resort.
At this point, bear in mind that a Chinese employer who feels he has lost face due to your actions won't have any compunctions to do the dirty on you by fabricating an excuse related to what you do in your actual job to fire you. Easy, he can tell you he's dissatisfied with your teaching, give you a week or so to 'amend' it, then say it is still substandard, and you're out the door. Of course, he'll have arranged your replacement to take over your teaching as soon as he's dumped you!
But if you're teaching illegally, the contract is necessarily illegal too. So, its terms and conditions don't apply at all. Therefore, SAFEA won't help you. In fact, they're likely to fine and deport you if they find out you're teaching illegally!

would you know what to do here in China -- my housing is pretty sh-tty, and my school is not doing anything about it... for the last two months I've been leaving inside a very basic laundry room (yes, 1 room, no kitchen, no living room, no dining room, no bathroom, no furniture, just old school' tables and chairs), with my toilet located on the balcony, with the winds blowing thru -- no glass of any kind -- showerig in the cold, going to the toilet in the cold, etc.

Anon, you need to take pictures of the place you're living at right now. Take detailed pics of every room and please keep them in a safe place. You need to find out the location of the Foreign Experts Bureau in the city that you are working in. But you might need to go to the main Foreign Experts Bureau that represents the whole of Guangdong Province in order to get a more effective result. What we want to do here is to make the ones who are supposed to monitor your employer feel the pressure of doing their job. Here is the official website for the Guangdong Foreign Experts Bureau:

http://guangdong.caiep.org/index.php

The address at the bottom in Chinese reads:
广东省外国专家局
地址：广州市东风中路309号广东大厦1828 邮编：510045
电话：综合处：83134790 专家证办理：83348844 � 真：020-83340575 E-mail:gdaiep@21cn.com

English:

Guangdong Foreign Experts Bureau
Address: Guangzhou City DongFeng Middle Road 309 Guangdong Tower Suite 1828, Postal Code 510045
Telephone: 83134790 Foreign Experts Certificate Registration Office: 83348844 Fax: 020-83340575 Email: gdaiep@21cn.com

I would not recommend doing email. Call them and make an appointment. Please state the problem and give them your Foreign Expert Cetificate number and make a time to go there and show them the evidence. You should prepare a written statement as well to present.

I would also start looking for a new job at this point. The reason for this is so that when you go to the FE Office in Guangzhou you can say that you have something better lined up if they do not take care of your situation and that if this issue cannot be resolved you would like a Release Letter from your current employer ASAP. Do not let the school cancel your Foreign Experts Certificate by giving the booklet back to them because that would mean your Resident Permit can then be cancelled without them ever laying their hands on your passport! When you change employers in China bring both your FE Certificate as well as your Certificate of Health as you might be exempt from getting another health check (although this isn't guaranteed especially if your new job is in another province) and with your FE Certificate not being cancelled it is easier to transfer your Experts status for your new employer.

You deserve better. Do not let a bad living situation ruin your chances of enjoying yourself even in china.

You should contact the SAFEA. You can quote the SAFEA guidelines directly to your employer.

the institution shall provide the experts with housing equipped with furniture, bedding, warming and cooling facilities. The house should have a washroom with bathing equipment and should be equipped with appliances such as a TV set, refrigerator and washing machine. Telephone should be installed in each room if possible. For experts with long term residence a kitchen with cooking apparatus is preferred

If you're not working on the proper residence permit then don't contact the SAFEA, just leave. If you are working on an RP you'll need to weigh up the pros and cons before deciding whether to do a runner. At least HK is not far away.

Dear All:

would you know what to do here in China -- my housing is pretty sh-tty, and my school is not doing anything about it... for the last two months I've been leaving inside a very basic laundry room (yes, 1 room, no kitchen, no living room, no dining room, no bathroom, no furniture, just old school' tables and chairs), with my toilet located on the balcony, with the winds blowing thru -- no glass of any kind -- showerig in the cold, going to the toilet in the cold, etc...

Some of the e-mails that I've sent to my administration about the same issues are below...

I am pretty patient and tolerant of many situations, and some of you have seen my flat without furniture or too much heat in Shenyang -- so if I am telling you that this one is way worse... it means it can't be any worse... this remote location and housing could only be topped by some place the middle of a desert, where I'd be using goat droppings as study aids... :) There are no cabs in this "neck-of-the-woods", and taking a cab to town would be 60 RMB, to the city of Foshan, 200 RMB...

For obvious reasons, upon finding out that I stay in the city on week-ends, the school's administration is advising me that it's unreasonable to do so (oddly enough) and even "illegal" for foreigners to stay away from the campus where they teach. Interpreted any further, I am now a prisoner of this school.

Thanks for any and all advice,

*************
Dear Mr. Yang:
the issue of my housing in Gaoming is still OUTSTANDING... and is a problem which hasn't been resolved. I've shared this information with you two weeks ago and because of how busy your schedule is, and because of the New Year's holiday, and the exam schedule, my housing problem has been avoided.
Two weeks later, it's still the same -- I have no heat in my room, I still go to the toilet on the balcony, in the cold, taking a shower, in the cold, and still become sick while living like this, without heat, in the cold. I have no kitchen, I have no comfortable furniture, no living room that I am used to having while living in three other schools while teaching in China.
The housing in Gaoming is inconvenient, location and facilities are far away from everything... I have to wait for buses for 2-3 hours every Sunday when coming back to school from the week-end in Foshan, or any other normal city. I have to be on the bus for at least an hour, and wait for the bus 1/2 hour more, every time I go to the store. I waste at least 3 hours of my time, trying to get to, and from this campus. These issues can't be avoided ANY longer. Please assist as soon as possible.

****************************

Dear Mr. Yang:
Attached please find pictures of my old apartment from a polytechnic in Shandong. I used to live in that flat 2010-2011, while teaching in China.

The situation with my housing in Gaoming has to be changed, I can't continue wearing a coat every time I go to the toilet or while taking a shower. I do not wish to catch bronchitis or pneumonia while leaving in the most southern province of China.
As to the salary issue that you've raised yesterday, my salary is only higher at your college due to my teaching twice, sometimes three times the amount of students that I used to teach at the other colleges. My classes there only had 35 students, and not 70 or 140 students, as they are here.

I could also understand that the costs of living/prices in Guangdong are much higher than those in the north, and that's the 2nd reason why my salary might be higher. For example, what used to cost me 3 RMB there, in Shandong, such as a piece of bread with chicken, now costs 8 or 9 RMB here in Guangdong.

Please assist with finding a suitable, furnished apartment as soon as possible.