I'm an atheist, but if I've got all this afterlife thing wrong, I dare say that hell would have far better quality drugs and hookers than heaven.

ha ha ha. and the devil bringing you bacon sandwiches and cups of tea to boot, eh? Nope, sorry, it's not like that. It's constant beatings and torture and 'cop this up the rear end, sailor' every time old nick (no pun, not me) gets frisky. Maybe you could get through to the happy lounge with your other passport and a dog's collar though. If they're busy; big rail crash or something you may just be able to slip through. All good fun, ha ha ha.

I still study the bible as I can, it always pays to, just to keep knowledge fresh.

I don't know; it may pay to steer clear of that book. I'm not saying for you personally but for some of us. The thing is this. If you have hardly ever studied that good book; when you do reach the gates of St Peter, you might be told that whereas you're a totally evil shit, we will give you a chance as you don't know any better(having not read the book..very much) "Follow that Angel to the Second Chance Lounge, please" But if you have vigorously studied that good book during your lifetime, and you're still a shit, and you arrive all cocky like, the bloke at the gate may shove an eternal shovel in your mits and tell you to follow the bloke with the horns, down to the furnaces. I could not care less, but some of us should heed my words.