A friend of mine had a heart attack the other day. He called his school (similar to WEB) and not far from it, and told them he needed help. It's an Emergency. He said: "I'm having a heart attack. I need you to call an ambulance to come to my house and take me to hospital" - Of course his voice was as revealing as his words. And do you know what they said to my friend? - "Do you have classes today?"

WARNING: To all extraterrestrial beings of good will. Visiting the planet earth and working at some homo sapien run businesses called "schools" may result in profound bitterness and anger towards the human race. We apologize for this and we assure you that although these "humans" may share the same gene pool with us, we are already working on separating them as a separate species. Please save your death rays and your angry flying saucer discs for another planet. It may take a very very long time to find a planet like ours. But we beg of you to try to find a place as rotten as ours somewhere else in this vast universe. At least try to make a comparison.