I wouldn't necessarily agree with everything about what silverboy and san migs have said. However even if their opinions can seem a little distorted to some if you truly cared about how chinese people are raised you would see where these perceptions can come from. I left the USA to find something different, one of which was to be in a more conservative society where everyone, including the men of course, would respect people for living a more "yoga-ish" life (one with less or no alcohol, drugs, smoking, and of course more celibacy). I thought china would offer such an environment, but of course i really should have done more research. With sex shops, brothels, public smoking and forced drinking everywhere this isn't a clean country to live in for your spiritual needs.

If you're going to ask someone to adhere to a set of moral boundaries, you should probably make sure everyone in that respective society stays consistent. Yes chinese women are taught that sex is bad, you should only do it after you marry, and you shouldn't object to what the "man of the house" be that your father, brother, or husband has to say or do. There is most likely a strong feeling of emptiness and unfullfillment. Now i'm not advocating immoral stuff such as extramarital affairs, cheating on your significant other, and/or sleeping around. BUT the chinese men do it, in fact they do all of it. Not only do they do all of it, some of them intentionally try and push for a social acceptance of polygamy to justify their ego and inferiority complex.

As for being in the family, there is the old saying of "once the girl is married off, she is like a spilled bucket of water". In other words society is supposed to look down on her if she tries separation. Granted the chinese women don't make it better for themselves with their petty jealousies toward each other as well as their willful intention of emasculating their husbands and boyfriends out of frustration that they aren't being heard and their needs aren't being met. It can be a two way street with both sides holding on to some selfish mantra they must let go of.

It is a part of human nature to think of the grass as being greener than the other side. When you have an expat who needs company and a local woman who needs to be given more caring words and be thought about, you have relationships happen. You may think silverboy is being racist, but you might want to think what's triggering this emotional reaction. If he was really racist he wouldn't be living in china for so long. Chinese people are very antagonistic and can say some very nasty, hurtful things about expats. It doesn't help expats live in a system that offers them almost no personal protection whatsoever from being taken advantage of. As expats we need to stick closer together rather than drift further away. Are your personal experiences really that bad that you don't want anything to do with other foreigners?