Okay, here's the lowdown on GLV. All these messages are old and completely behind the times, and I'm gonna give it to you straight because I have nothing to lose and no reason to lie.

1. That whole Bahaii thing is out of date. They started the school with strong Bahaii principles, but ever since the owner had a kind of breakdown and forsook (is that the word?) his Bahaii wife and kids for Confucian study, it's kind of fizzled out. There's still a strong anti-alcohol vibe, but come on. You'll never take the 'alcohol' out of 'expat'.

2. Color-coded nametags for money? Uhh....not so much. Brand new students wear green straps for their first two weeks so that proper attention can be given to them. The school has a lot of rules that aren't common in China- a holdover from all the Bahaii stuff--that they sometimes need help with. After those two weeks, they switch to yellow (with the usual accompanying chuckles and whatnot). I suppose it could be construed as a payment discrimination if you cock your head and squint really hard, but that's a stretch.

Let's get down to the real deal. The atmosphere in the Teacher's Office in Zhuhai is open-a-vein-in-the-bathtub material. You have some old war-horses who stick around because they're too apathetic to make it anywhere else and who sit at their desks bad-mouthing China and the Chinese 'til it's time to go home and drink. You also have some shining examples of western manhood who will sleep with any female student who'll look twice at them. In case you were wondering, there's never a short supply of those--both the teachers and the students. Oh, buddy.

You also have some genuinely great people in that office who care about the school and the students and who will bend over backwards for you.

The pay is always on time at GLV. You won't encounter those language mill horror stories about fighting for what's due to you. If you're white, you get your 5100 rmb on time each month. If you're Filipino or Chinese, lower that number accordingly-- but you'll get yours on time, too.

The workload is not too harsh at all unless you beg for the overtime. The students are absolutely fantastic aside from those 'I don't want a Chinese teacher' ones. So if you're Chinese or have an Eastern face and a Western soul, please beware. You might want to stick to teaching kids, because kids can't boycott your class for the shape of your eyes.

GLV Hangzhou is located right outside beautiful Hangzhou, Zhejiang, which makes Zhuhai look like a revolting cesspool. The atmosphere is much tighter and chummier. You're provided with an apartment twenty steps from the school, in a usually-deserted amusement park/hotel compound. It's quite beautiful, but you as good as live at work. That'll probably drive most people crazy, but I'm making it fine.

I'd recommend GLV Hangzhou over GLV Zhuhai in a heartbeat. I would be content as hell if it weren't for a nightmare manager who is causing half the teachers to quit. If you don't care about making only 5100 rmb per month and are in the mood for something quiet (but not TOO quiet, as Zhuhai likes to imply-- because god forbid the branch do better than the charter!), it's not a bad place to work. The apartments themselves are huge and beautiful and make other teachers' housings I've seen in China look like a bad joke that should never have been told. The staff in charge of keeping teachers happy and comfortable does a fantastic job.

However, neither GLV is allowed to hire more foreigners until March 2008 (tee hee, wonder what that's about??). Also, do not put in your resume (for Hangzhou, of course. Zhuhai?...No.) if the initials of one of the managers is still K.M. If they are, don't waste your time. Words cannot describe.

That's it. That's me.