Everyone knows the importance of friends. Good friends provide support during difficult times, help celebrate good times, and can even provide a shoulder to cry on. However, building and maintaining friendships is frequently challenging. What about your enemies or "frienemies"? It takes a lot of energy to keep that charade going. So why would you possibly want to turn an enemy into a potential friend?

Often times, your anxiety, stress or anger caused by a difficult relationship can adversely impact your physical and mental well being. "Your body responds to the way you think, feel and act. This is often called the 'mind/body connection.' When you are stressed, anxious or upset, your body tries to tell you that something isn't right...[and] you may not take care of your health as well as you should." American Academy of Family Physicians.

Here are some tips to remember the next time you encounter a so-called "enemy", causing your heart rate to increase or a knot to develop in your stomach:

1. Accept your feelings. You're upset, you're angry, and your feelings are hurt. They did or said something that has upset you. Allow yourself to acknowledge what you feel. Resist the urge to bury it inside, ignore it or pretend it didn't happen. Instead, discuss with a close friend or family member about how you feel inside. Avoid replaying the event over and over and keep your focus on your feelings.

2. Recognize that you have a choice as to how you 'see' this person. Try to see them as a child, crying out for love and attention. Chances are you have no idea what they have gone through in their lives. Pray for help in seeing this person in a different way. You have a choice as to how you perceive them.

3. What can you learn? What is it that you do not like about this person? What you do not like in the other person may also be a reflection of yourself. Use this opportunity to take a good look at yourself to see your part in it. Sometimes your part is simply to forgive.

4. Forgive them and yourself. You can do it! Forgiveness is not, in any way, condoning their behavior. The longer you hold on to the resentment, the longer you will feel pain. Forgiveness is simply letting go of a feeling that no longer serves you. Forgive yourself too -- you gave up your power and let them take up space in your head! Forgive and reclaim your power!

5. Engage in a conversation about 'them'. The next time you see this person, simply ask how their day is. Keep the conversation focused on them. If they ask how you are, say "great" and then ask them another question. Stay focused and interested on how they are doing. By doing this, you will be able to 'get out of your own way' and begin to contribute to their well being. In fact, you may even become friends some day.

The most important thing to remember is that these tips will help you to feel better. You cannot change the other person; you can only change the way you react to and perceive them. If they are not receptive to making amends and becoming your friend, no harm is done. You will have reclaimed your power, you'll feel good about yourself and your efforts to befriend them, and you'll be doing something to improve your physical and mental well being.

Sandee Sgarlata is the author of The Day After Tomorrow, the first book in the Julia Monroe Series and a 2009 Next Generation Indie Book Award Finalist and The National Best Books 2009 Award Finalist, both in the category of Young Adult Fiction. As a Life Coach and Reiki Master Practitioner, Sandee works with her clients to explore, enlighten and empower their lives. Sandee is a former national-level figure-skating coach and through the Y.E.A.H. Foundation (Youth Empowerment & Awareness for Health Foundation), she works with teens to help them strengthen their life skills. Sandee is the host of two BlogTalkRadio shows: "Everything Mind, Body & Spirit" and "Teens 4 Peace." She currently resides in Ashburn, Va., with her husband Mark, of 18 years, and 9-year-old son. For more information, please visit http://www.juliamonroe.net or http://www.4give4peace.com