Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon. E.L. Doctorow

In writers' circles this is known as show vs tell. It's one of the most difficult thing for new writers to learn. One of the basics of good writing is putting your reader into the middle of the action. This has been a continuing topic in many writer groups. It separates a good writer from a poor one.

TELL

"Ellen was five years old and scared as the plane went by."

Pretty plain, huh? I know everyone can imagine being five years old and being scared. What adult can't, but what does this do for the reader? Are you drawn into what you are reading by the example? Nope, me neither. I have nothing invested by these simple words. This is not necessarily bad when this is not a main character in your book, but if little Ellen is a repeating character the reader needs to get to know her.

In writing adult books, words are important because unlike children's books you don't have pictures to show what's going on. You have to show your reader what you want them to see. It requires thought on the writer's part. How do you show the reader, creating a picture in his mind, that this young child is scared? Okay, same sentence from a show perspective.

SHOW

"Ellen reached one small hands up grabbing her mother's in a fierce grip while her knees quaked in fear as the plane roared by."

From this second sentence, the reader knows Ellen is young because she has small hands and she has to reach up. Her fierce grip and knees quaking denotes her being scared. The roar of the plane explains why she is scared. By adding the actions you Scan feel, "see" and hear the sentence.

Show involves all the senses and action. Think about fear. It's a strong emotion with plenty of words to describe it. (A no-brainer choice for me to show) You feel fear and words like...stomach knotting, pouring sweat, the urge to run away come first to my mind. Seeing fear, you have words like...quaking, shiver, nostrils flaring, uncertainty in the eyes, ducking in anticipation of a blow... you get the idea.

You want your reader invested in the character. You want the reader inside the action. That's the sign of good writing...to pull the reader out of his ordinary life and put him in the middle of someplace else. Think of your favorite book. What made it your favorite? Did you travel along and experience what the character did? I'll bet you did. It doesn't matter if you are writing nonfiction or fiction, your reader's reaction are tantamount.

HOW MUCH Originally, when I started writing I over described everything. My first novel ended up being well over 1,000 pages. Talk about an editing nightmare when trying to condense it down to 300-400 pages or about roughly 120,000 words. On average, depending on the font, a page in double spaced is about 250 words. From the cuts I made in the first novel, I wrote or had enough information for three novels! Obviously this is an extreme example of too much.

Now, I write minimally then add. Well, not totally minimally. Old habits die hard even after all these years. So grab your pens, pencils and tablets or laptop. Pick a scene you have written and show vs tell and above all...write on!

J.L. Murphey, writer and author, mother, and grandmother. Has a unique yet sometimes humorous look at the writing process.