It's odd how many people, once they become corporatized or bureaucratized, lose their powers of strong, effective, colorful speech.

Here's an interesting exchange of letters. It's from a few years back, but it's worth recalling because it illustrates the difference between two kinds of communication.

In one kind, it's not considered odd to refer to "the above referenced parcel of property" or to "a rain event."

In the other kind, you hear the vivid speech of a human being.

Letter one

The first letter is from the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) to a man called Ryan DeVries.

It begins: "Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property."

Mr DeVries had been "certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor" who was responsible for "the following unauthorized activity": "Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond."

He is told that he should have got a permit "prior to the start of this type of activity."

The letter says that the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) had been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent "rain event," which led to debris and flooding downstream.

The DEQ considers dams of this nature to be "inherently hazardous" and they "cannot be permitted." It therefore instructs Mr DeVries "to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition."

If he fails to comply, Mr DeVries is threatened with "elevated enforcement action" - does that mean that he will be hanged?

Letter two

Mr DeVries replies, confirming that he was the "legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania."

He writes that a couple of beavers "are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams" across the outlet stream of his Spring Pond. Pointing out that he did not pay for, authorize, or supervise their dam project, he says they would be "highly offended that you call their skillful use of nature's building materials 'debris'."

He also suggests that the beavers were probably not aware that they should seek a dam permit before starting to build a dam.

'Please contact the beavers'

As for restoring the stream "to a dam free-flow condition", he suggests that the DEQ should "please contact the beavers."

Mr DeVries goes on to defend the beavers' rights. The Spring Pond Beavers, he writes, have a right to build their unauthorized dams "as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream."

Indeed, they had "more dam rights" than he did to live in and enjoy Spring Pond.

Finally, Mr DeVries said he had been unable to contact the DEQ on its "dam answering machine" and was thus sending his letter to its "dam office."

The letter was signed: "RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS."

To be fair to the DEQ official, he probably has to write many letters of that kind, and leaves it to his automatic system to write them for him. And he'd probably get into trouble if he indulged in a sense of humor with correspondents against whom the DEQ might have to take legal action.

The letter is, however, a good example of the laboured, legalistic, colorless, inhuman language of bureaucracy. In contrast, it's a pleasure to read Ryan DeVries's letter because it is colorful, amusing, and full of personality.

David is a writer, editor and proofreader with long experience in journalism. He is based in Tipperary, Ireland (but, thanks to the Internet, it's no longer "a long way to Tipperary..."). You're welcome to visit his website: http://swiftwrite.ie.