A head teacher wanted to know where she was going wrong with an 8 year old boy who was behaving atrociously in her school.

How was his behaviour so bad and what did she do about it?

The 1 to 1 support give to this little lad in class wasn't working... There is so much money thrown at behaviour problems without improving anything. At best often schools are often just containing kids' behaviour problems and often they're making the situation worse because they're using the wrong behaviour management strategies.

Without realising it they are reinforcing the appalling behaviour they don't want! They're always shocked when this is pointed out - they can't believe that their actions having been throwing petrol on the flames! They've realised that things have gone wrong but not that their actions are the aggravating the situation.

This head teacher isn't even containing the problem behaviour. The situation is getting worse every day.

How has this come about? It's quite simple... they're doing things the wrong way. There's no doubt that all the teachers have the best of intentions. They just need some pointers about their behaviour management strategies and some misconceptions they have about managing kids' behaviour...

Don't forget that it's a change in the child's behaviour we're after -- not simply containing the bad behaviour you're already enduring or worse still, making the behaviour even worse...

Anyway, back to this particular 8 year old little guy...

During this particular day he had increased the pressure on his support worker and his behaviour got more and more demanding and out of line. That was where the first mistake was made! She should have put her foot down very firmly the moment he started showing bad behaviour. Stop putting up with it in other words!

People wait far too long before they act when kids behave badly. Don't forget that the aim is to prevent bad behaviour escalating whenever possible rather than deal with a crisis that could have been avoided. It's so much easier on everyone that way...

So what did the support worker do? Well, once the behaviour had got beyond her control the head teacher was summoned.

By this time, this mini thug was throwing chairs around the room, spitting at people and being foul mouthed and physically abusive.

So the head teacher was walking into a situation that had already escalated. What did she do?

Well, she 'persuaded' him to go with her to a 'quiet place' to talk things over... Why?

She thought that was a reasonable thing to do -- explain to him the error of his ways, tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable and explain how he should be behaving in school...

So, why would she want to do that? Well why not, you may be thinking...

Ok, let me tell you why not... Do you think he has no idea that his disgusting behaviour is wrong? Absolutely no chance - he knows very well that this sort of behaviour is completely out of order!

Children as young as 2 (in some cases much younger!) know that throwing chairs around, spitting at people and being physically aggressive and swearing is wrong.

This child's appalling behaviour has been a major part of his school and home life for a very long time so you can be pretty sure he's frequently been given the message that his behaviour is out of order! I wonder how many times adults have 'talked things over' with him, discussing what he should and shouldn't be doing!

Keeping in mind the numerous occasions his behaviour has been out of line, what on earth is there to talk about? Maybe another rendition of 'I like you but I don't like your behaviour', do you think?

Will that make a jot of difference? Absolutely no chance!

You'd be wasting your breath! By doing so you're actually reinforcing in the child's mind the fact that nothing is going to be done (yet again!) about his atrocious behaviour. He knows there will be no consequences, no action - nothing will happen that gives him the strongest message that he'd better change his ways otherwise his life will get pretty miserable for a time!

What should the school do?

Well don't waste time and effort talking pointlessly for starters...

What then? Consequences need to be put in place and used consistently. The situation wouldn't have become as extreme if this had been done when he had started to behave badly. Use consequences consistently and kids soon get the message that adults mean business and they'd better make changes. There's no chance of kids growing out of bad behaviour if you don't take action -- it simply gets worse. And that's guaranteed!

I can tell you something else for nothing! By putting consequences in place for this little guy the rest of the kids in school will be receiving a powerful message too. It'll tell them it's not advisable to follow his example!

But remember, it also gives a very clear message when you don't issue consequences for bad behaviour! But that message is one you don't want the kids to receive!

It's not difficult to learn what consequences work -- in fact it's surprisingly easy. As with every other skill the more you practise the better you get...

Do you want to know more about managing children's behaviour? Are you having a problem with classroom control? Behaviour Bible will help you get it right. Liz Marsden is a highly experienced teacher and successful behaviour management expert who works with children demonstrating extreme and challenging behaviour in their schools and homes. Liz uses her skills every day in her own classes. She also trains teachers, student teachers, teaching assistants and parents to deal with children's behaviour confidently and effectively. Visit Liz's website at http://www.behaviourbible.com where you can access her easy to follow behaviour management strategies and techniques. Follow the strategies and see great results every time.