“Final boarding call for Delta flight DL5127” I yawn and stretch, lifting myself off the ground and picking up my bag. I had found a nice little corner by the pay phones where I could lay down and catch up on some much needed rest. Sure a lot of people looked at me probably wondering why I wasn’t sitting in a chair like everyone else, but thats never been my style, and besides I could actually stretch out and not wrestle with seat partitions or try and line up my lower back perfectly with the edge of the chair. The ground was flat, even and expansive so I figured, why not?

I sauntered up to the gate, showing my passport and ticket, I wasn’t too excited about flying with Delta, mostly because of stories I’ve heard from others, however I was pleasantly surprised, The seats where bigger than most planes I had flown in before and our flight attendants where 2 older ladies with thick southern accents. I truly believe that more often than not our “bad experiences” are caused by buying into other peoples horror stories about this and that, mind you it’s been passed through 7 people by then and what started out as a forgotten glass of water turns into the flight from hell complete with monkeys and destroyed luggage.

After the quick connection from Person international to the home of the Braves, for the non sports fans I’m speaking of Atlanta. I disembarked into another world, often I forget how different our brothers and sisters to the south of us really are. The first thing I heard as I hurried to catch my next flight was “Attention all passengers, the airports security threat level has been raised from yellow to orange! Be aware of suspicious activity and report it immediately!”. “Wow” I thought thats pretty intense, well it has to be right? I mean to make that announcement over the speaker system it must be important. Um wrong, basically the ever changing colors of threat levels is much like trying to keep up with who Lindsay Lohan is currently dating. Let’s move on shall we, the T.V.’s all showed the latest news stories of shootings, murders and robberies, funny when I left Canada I swear the most shocking news that morning was about some lady who found an old war relic in her patch of mums. The Japanese passengers where so shocked at how large the portions were that they asked me to take pictures of them holding up the largest sizes, Big Gulp anyone?

Anyways after boarding the Boeing 777 on direct route to Tokyo, Japan out pilot came out to say hello and to my surprise it was Alec Baldwin, well probably not at all but hell he looked so much like him I expected to be shown to my seat by Tracy Morgan and Tina Fey. Sadly this was not the case and as me and the rest of economy class marched past the rich people in their individual cubicles with their champagne and micro allergen pillows. I swear they get served flank steak once that curtain is closed. I took my seat beside a family of 5, the youngest no older than 6 months I settled in for a long, long flight. The individual T.V. In front of me held over 50 movies and games for my viewing pleasure and I could not believe my eyes when I saw a little penguin in the corner of the screen while it booted up! Sorry if you don’t get it I’m not explaining. I settled down, plugged in my headphones and lost myself in a remastered copy of Ben Hur.

7 hours, 3 movies and 1 pretty decent meal later (Delta you really are impressing me) I’ve another 7 hours to go, luckily I’ve pounded back enough cheap Airplane wine to level a working horse, so hopefully I will spend the rest of my flight in an alcohol induced sleep, yes also known as passing out.

Next stop Tokyo Japan, now if I could only get this blanket to cover my whole body....

By: Paul Schembri