You see that your friend is suffering from a lack of self-confidence and you want to help. You care about them, but you don't necessarily know what is contributing to their lack of self-confidence. Here are some ideas for you to try out to help your friend.

1.Give genuine compliments. First, it must be a sincere compliment. The best compliments are based on some ability that you friend has or some action that he or she has taken. "You have done a great job on that project."

The more specific you are with the compliment, the more the person will believe you. Often when people lack confidence, they are also very good at being self-depreciating. It can be very difficult for the person to accept the compliment, so you many need to gently persist.

2. Help your friend see that the glass is half full. Negativity and lack of confidence may go hand in hand in your friend's mind. Listen to their grumblings and acknowledge their feeling first. This is very important. If you make an encouraging comment without hearing them first, they will just reject your supportive efforts.

"No doubt that the economy is bad and you have been looking for a job for months now. That is very discouraging. You are fortunate, however, that your unemployment benefits last so long."

"You're right. Your husband is a jerk. It's really good that you are going to counseling for some help."

3. Appropriately distract your friend, when he or she is down on themselves. Suggest some activity that you both enjoy and that your friend is good at. Being active is always a good idea, whether it is going for a walk together, going to a movie together or other mutually enjoyable activity.

4. Ask them about past successes and achievements. Get them talking about those times to remind them of the confidence that they did have in the past. You may need to be persistent, because people often discount their past achievements.

5. Suggest that your friend get some help to develop more confidence. This is best done in the form of a question. "Have you ever thought about seeing a coach or a counselor for some help being more confident?" Be thoughtful about your timing of this question.

There are a number of really good ways to get assistance online. EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, is readily available and amazingly effective for this kind of problem. Numerous web sites offer education to improve self-esteem and consultation to develop self-confidence.

Guided imagery recordings are very helpful to reprogram both the conscious and the unconscious mind to have more confidence.

6. Ask your friend directly what would help boost their confidence. Express your concern for them and put forth the ideas that confidence can be acquired. People often do know what they need and your caring question could be the spark that causes them to take some action.

Visit http://BeConfidentToday.com/ to cultivate confidence with guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, articles, and consultations with Lynn Kennedy Baxter, BSN, MA., High Performance Coach and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Take the first step now, because confidence is your choice and you can have it.
© 2011 Lynn Kennedy Baxter, BSN, MA