As supposedly mature adults, how do we cope with traumatic events? Our responses can be termed "coping mechanism", and the strategies or tactics we can use be either self-defeating or effective. So, how do we know which is which?

Now, let us begin to explore the strategies that can be self-defeating for us, but our quite tempting as ways to cope. First, the total avoidance strategy is one of the most common tactics used. What we shall refer to is beyond the denial stage. Total avoidance means no talking or thinking about the traumatic event. Now, the opposite-that is obsessing about the event is also bad. But, avoiding it totally is only a way of surrendering to hopelessness, because then we are acting as if there is now way to handle the event-that we are utterly powerless to learn anything from a traumatic event. Now, that results in a self-defeating cycle.

Second, we may opt to make life-changing choices that are not needed, and that without reflection or preparation. Sometimes, a traumatic event can so overwhelm us that we begin to see that a big change is the only chance for things to get better. We may be led to think that since a big thing happened, we can only give a big response. But making these decisions can actually make things worse. We need to take our time, especially after a trauma (unless it is a necessary emergency, such as in cases with physical, verbal and emotional abuse).

Third, for some of us, work becomes everything. We begin to feel that we just need to work to get our minds out of it. But learning never happens if we just get our minds off the traumatic event or events. And working like a workaholic can actually keep us from necessary routine-activities of daily living that we need to do like eating, drinking, and taking a rest or sleep for that matter. Of course, we should not stop working (unless advised by a doctor, a professional, a trusted friend or family member). However, we cannot let ourselves be carried away. Then again, we need a diversion, but work as a diversion can give us fatigue more than we (and our bodies) can actually handle.

Lastly, then there is that strategy of resorting to alcohol, smoking, gambling, or even worse drugs. If you fall to this mistake, ask professional help immediately.

Michael's passion is to write on wide varieties of subjects. His latest writing is at http://www.bushnellspottingscope.net which contains reviews on bushnell spotting scope and other information about spotting scopes.