Words are very powerful and they have the power to build someone up and they also have the power to tear someone down. Do you find that your self-esteem has been affected by what other people have said to you in the past? If someone tells you won't be able to do something, do you automatically believe them? Do you believe you are unattractive because you may have been told that in the past? Do you believe that you are no good because someone told you that lie?

Our self-esteem can be deeply affected by the words other people in our lives have told us. I want to challenge you today to not let the thought and the opinions of others become your thoughts about yourself. You need to learn to filter the things that other people tell you in three mental categories which are: keep, sort and discard.

When someone gives you a compliment you need to file it away in the keep category. The compliment can be big or small. It doesn't matter if the compliment is about your appearance, personality or abilities you should file it in the keep category anyways. The keep category should be filled up with all the good things that other people have told you about yourself in the past as well as your own positive thoughts. Go to the keep file whenever you are having a bad day or doubting yourself. Think on the things that are positive and reflect on these things frequently.

Sometimes we are going to be told things that we might not want to hear but we need to hear. This is called constructive criticism. The goal of constructive criticism is to critique an individual so they will benefit or improve. Even though constructive criticism isn't always easy to receive it often can be a positive thing. Constructive criticism can help you improve on weakness that you may be unaware of. If someone tells you something that you need to work on, sort through their statement and see if they have a point. If there is truth in what they are saying take action towards improvement in that area. For example you could be a really great mom but on occasion you lose your cool. If your child or someone else were to point that out to you; you could work on calming down when you feel yourself getting upset.

The last category I am talking about is the discard pile. There are some things that people say to you that should go in one ear and out of the other. Some people for whatever reason find joy in bringing others down and they will do and say things to make you feel bad about yourself. When someone is trying to put you down you need to remember the Ellen Roosevelt quote "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission". We cannot always control what people say or do to us but we can control how we react to it and how much power we give to it. When people try to bring you down remember who you are and don't let their negative words or thoughts about you become the way that you think about yourself.

Remember to sort the things that others tell you in the three categories and you will find yourself a lot happier and your self-esteem a lot higher.

Kristin C New Love Founder and Relationship Coach
Visit http://www.ournewlove.com for Relationship Advice, Dating Tips, Self Esteem Improvement and personalized coaching. Become a Fan of New Love http://www.facebook.com/pages/La-Quinta-CA/New-Love/136827959670572