Many people - if not most - have the capacity to empower themselves. What do we need to do?

Get to Know Ourselves.

We need to frequently spend time in quiet reflection by ourselves or with someone we respect, getting to know ourselves. What's important to me? What do I value most? What do I want to do with my life? Where do I want to make a difference? What are my strengths? How do I use those to achieve my goals? What it is about me as a person that stands in the way of me achieving my goals, hopes and dreams? What do I want to do about that? Is there congruence between who I am, what I believe, what I do and how I do it? Congruence empowers us.

Believe in Ourselves, Our Dreams, Our Ideas.

If we don't, no one else will! We need to find ways to nurture, sustain and maintain that belief and those dreams and to ground and develop our ideas.

Be Positive.

We need to challenge all our negatives, always seeing the glass as half full, rather than as half empty.

Be Proactive rather than Reactive.

We need to be able to look forward, not backwards when we face challenging situations. What can I do with this? What am I being asked to learn here? How can I turn this into an opportunity rather than be threatened by it? We can be the change we want to see in our work rather than criticise, complain and blame others for not measuring up.

Be Assertive.

We need to learn to be assertive about what we want and need for our lives and work. Being assertive is the opposite of being aggressive. The assertive person is positive and constructive, respectful of self and others, proactive, transparent and open, and focuses on issues not personalities. Assertiveness empowers all involved; aggressiveness is an intimidating and defensive activity.

Manage Our Emotional Lives.

We need to develop self-awareness, learning how our thoughts and actions impact on our lives and work and on those around us. Knowing and understanding which emotions elicit destructive reactions in us, what triggers them and how to constructively manage them, will empower us in all our relationships. Managing our emotions creatively in emotion-charged work situations brings positive outcomes for all. The way we manage our emotional lives is a crucial indicator of how successful we will be and of our leadership potential. This is about developing "emotional intelligence".

Set Goals and Learn Ways to Achieve Them.

We need to make sure the goals we set emerge from what we really want for our lives and our work, rather than from other's expectations of what we should do and be. Setting goals includes setting priorities. We need to be true to ourselves, stay focussed and revisit our goals and priorities on a regular basis.

Make Our Health and Well-Being a Priority.

We need to look after ourselves. This means eating well, exercising and managing our stress. Maintaining work/family balance is integral to managing stress. Balance comes from looking after our spirit as well as our body, our inner life as well as our outer life. And, of course, we need to take time periodically to regenerate and revitalise.

Surround Ourselves with Other Empowered People.

This is what makes this all easy! We need, however, to learn the difference between people who are "empowered" by ego, whose motivation is solely their own advancement, and those who live their lives empowered by integrity and motivated by conscience, who want to empower their workplace, team and organisation along with them. Network with these latter empowered people, socialise with them, belong to organisations with them and plan shared ventures with them.

If when you read this it acts to affirm and re-enforce what you are already doing then "seize the day!" and confidently continue forward. If, however, it all sounds impossible and unrealistic, if you can't see where you would find the time to do what is suggested here, if, in fact, you feel completely disempowered about changing your life and work, then take your first empowering action. Be proactive. Take one hour for yourself (and you'll probably have to take it from someone or something else) and do some reflecting. Ask yourself what price you are really paying for living your life the way you are. What will happen if you don't make a change?

As was said at the beginning, many people can do this by themselves. Many others, however, find that their ability to stay focussed, motivated and committed to living their lives the way they want to is greatly enhanced when they engage a professional to work with them - an experienced mentor, coach or supervisor.

Maree Harris PhD, is a leadership development coach and workshop facilitator who is committed to empowering people to create the personal and professional lives they desire. Go to
http://www.peopleempowered.com.au/professional-development-soft-skills and empower yourself with coaching by getting a complimentary print and audio copy of "Why Get a Coach?" - Chapter 2 of "Discover Everything You Need To Know About Coaching - Before You Engage A Coach.