Yesterday, I came back from a weekend of fun and relaxation. I knew I would face a mountain of email, but I was feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world. As I quickly sorted it, I noticed an email from a friend I had not heard from in a month. Excitedly, I opened her email immediately. Her news was not what I expected. A freak flash flood in Cave Creek, AZ had washed her entire house away with everything in it, except, the foundation, roof and studs. Possessions are one thing, but the loss of one’s memories and mementos of 60 years is heartbreaking. To add insult to injury, her home owner’s insurance would not cover the damage, because she did not have flood coverage, because the home was in a no flood area and the mortgage lender did not require flood insurance coverage. Not to mention, she had recently replaced her entire kitchen due to a water pipe leak, which had gone undetected and caused mold and rotted wood. Two other homes near-by were damaged, but less severely. It was discovered that the golf course on the other side the creek had diverted the direction of water flow, which was not approved. Needless to say, the golf course has legal ramifications, however in the meantime, the home owners have the adversity to manage.

Bev, not her real name, is a positive and resilient women. She had endured the loss of her son many years ago, her daughter became deaf at a young age and her marriage failed. In the two years that I have known her, she had her identity stolen and was obligated to appear in criminal court in Los Angeles twice to prove she was not the driver when her stolen identity was used during a car crash. She was diagnosed with diabetes. On July 27th, 2007, her cancer had been declared in remission. Now this—how does one deal with an adversity of this magnitude?

In talking with her, I pondered the dynamics of dealing with adversity. If your world seems to be falling apart around you, and you are not sure what to hold onto anymore, what do you do? Sometimes it might be a relationship which crumbles. Sometimes we can not identify it, but we feel as if all the walls have fallen down around us and we are standing with nothing in which to take refuge—we feel vulnerable and exposed.

In my friend Bev’s case, the walls around her had fallen down. Fortunately, she was not home at the time. It is these times we have an opportunity to see where we have established our identity, safety and well-being. While we naturally tend to place our sense of self in externals, any time those external factors shift, (or are wasted away by a flash flood) we have an opportunity to rediscover and move closer to our inner core, which is the only truly safe place—our home within.

Our inner core being is not affected by the shifting vicissitudes or subjected to the cycles of change that govern physicality. Your inner core is as steady and consistent as the sun, to which the great mystics and mystical gurus often reference. There are times, like the sun, when our core seems inaccessible to us, but this is a misperception. We know that when the sun is covered by a cloud or slips below the horizon, it has not disappeared, but is merely temporarily out of view. So, it is with our inner core being. When we trust that our inner core is shining brightly, even when we cannot see it, we have a refuge—a place to withstand any adversity.

Thus, when adversity strikes, you can hold onto your core when things around you are falling apart, knowing that an inexhaustible light exists within. Times of external havoc can be a great gift in that it provides an opportunity to remember your inner light that exists regardless of the circumstances of your life.

When your external life begins to come back together, you can lean a bit more lightly on the structures we used to call home, knowing more clearly than ever that our true home is that bright sun shining from our core. And so it is with my friend, Bev.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net