Am I The Only Teacher Who Feels This Way?

I've been teaching now in the PRC for a year and change and have a confession to make, and, as there are no Roman Catholic priests around, figured I'd unload here.

Alright. Here goes.

I don't always love my job.

Every time I try to bring up how teaching is going with teachers (who, despite my negative outlook, I hold in high regard), I hear things like 'super', 'excellent', 'having a blast', and 'brilliant' (from the British teachers).

At that time, I'm ashamed to say what I feel, which, if I were to be entirely honestly, would often go something like this:

"Tried to make some jokes. Some kids laughed, mostly out of pity. The activity I planned didn't work. Found out halfway through class only three kids understood me. Wasted 15 minutes trying to find out which five kids whose names where on my attendance register actually weren't in class. Wanted to end 10 minutes early, but felt guilty so played impromptu game of 'Pictionary'".

After two years and lots of effort, these feelings have waned a bit. But, I suspect that these sentiments are underrepresented in everyday conversation.

Thanks for your time. I think I feel better now.

Michael M.
Guilty English Teacher