My my how quickly circumstances change! One minute you two are swinging political and historical pickaxes at each other's throats, the next, there they are, a picture of conjugal bliss, tongues intertwined and dribbling sweet nothings into each others mouths...but somehow sex does always feel better after a fight, right boys?

See the point is that both of you have been whining about how little you earn,and the fact is that I work professionally and get paid a yearly salary equivalent to the mean wage for Education, Training and Library occupations in the US (SOC Code Number 25-0000 whatever that means according to your goverment's statistical publications). I realise that's but a pittance to all those still-employed IT professionals and successful musicians out there, but I often really enjoy what I do, I get a free apartment in which I don't pay for utilities, and I'm living in a country where the cost of living - even for me - is probably only about one fifth of the one I'm from. Seeing as I really have no expenses other than my enormous restaurant and recreational bills - and there's plenty of recreation available in this "shanty town" for a single and wayward soul like this old moonlighter - I would say that you could at least increase that amount by half again in relative terms for you idiots stuck in whatever shanty towns you're in trying to pay rent, mortgages, electricity bills or for other absurdly overpriced necessities.

I s'pose I do feel pretty lucky to be in this position - well it wasn't all luck; 15 years of professional and educational background did help with my being selected for the job - but even if it ended tomorrow and I was back at home on the tools again god forbid, I would take a perverse pride in saying that I had never worked for garbage, and that I hadn't been spending my declining years - because lets face it, the both of you have made it quite clear that opportunites aren't exactly waxing for you -I hadn't been wasting what precious time I have left to enjoy life in indulging my insecurities in a sad and bitter tirade against a world that really doesn't give a stuff about you and your $6.50 an hour "burger flipping" aspirations.

Oh, and another thing, I find it incredible that a continent that was able to produce a writer of the calibre of say Steinbeck in his later years, is now more or less chock full of semiliterates for whom the production of a grammatical sentence is an impossiblity, with even those who can produce language that approximates sense seemingly oblivious to the relationship that exists between sound grammar and unequivocal meaning...but then again if you really have nothing clear and worthwhile to say...

Look I enjoy the way you two express yourselves when you're having a good day, and I'm looking forward to the witty replies I hope you'll be able to compose in my honour(come on Arrogant WHOOP-DE-DO? seriously...), but it's no secret that the deficit in literacy in your fair continent is somewhat more severe than in that of other countries in the so-called English speaking world. I mean there's just no excuse for any of the incomprehesible nonsense that consistently comes out of the mouths of the current US political administration...maybe that's got something to do with the serious intellectual pressure that a nation would impose upon itself in trying to perpetuate the obvious fraud that a hack like Robert Frost was a great poet (but i digress)...

...anyway...love, peace, rainbows, and emerald-eyed golden-breasted birds warbling from verdant boughs to you both...

Oh!...and I nearly forgot to mention, if you call people "british" in some of the establishments where I'm from, there's a fair chance you'd be in for a well deserved kicking, so stick that up your @($es , oh sorry, donkeys, and flip those burgers comrades.