It is easier to have high self-esteem when other people treat you in a good way. Unfortunately, we have no control over other people and we cannot program them to behave in the way we want to. However, we CAN optimize the chances for being treated by others in a good way that raises our self-esteem.

We all meet challenging people during our lives. Colleagues that annoy us, relatives who drive us crazy, or maybe just the weird neighbour who doesn't behave the way we want to. We can do our best to escape energy thieves (people who drain us of energy), but we cannot transform them into loving people who support us in the way we want to be supported.

Even though you cannot change other people, you CAN make it more likely for them to want to change. Most people probably want to make you feel good, but they don't know how to do it. For example, most of your relatives probably want you to feel great. Those who fail do so because they don't know how to behave to make you feel like a great person. You can make it easier for them succeed in supporting you by telling them clearly and openly what you want them do to. If you want them to talk less about themselves and listen more to you, tell them! If you want them to stop giving you knitted jumpers for Christmas, tell them!

Other people who annoy you may do so because they feel threatened in some way. For example, your boss may herself feel insecure and disrespected in her position, and therefore tries to compensate this by taking more control and listen less to those below her in the organisation. To make such people more bearable to be around you can try to fulfill their need of feeling loved and respected. Listen to and encourage your boss, and perhaps she will eventually start to listen to and encourage you! When you help others to raise their self-esteem they become more likely to help you raise your self-esteem.

A third way to make others behave in ways that you want them to is to praise them whenever they do. If your lazy colleague happens to actually do some good work, give him/her lots of compliments about it! If your flat mate who never helps with the housework takes out the rubbish, praise him/her so much that he/she will want to do it every week! When you give a person a compliment, you momentarily raise his/her self-esteem. Everybody likes feeling good about themselves and will repeat activities that have made them feel this way in the past.

Liv Miyagawa - The Self-Esteem Coach

Self-Esteem Coach Liv Miyagawa helps adults who want high self-esteem. She can help you to raise your self-esteem to become happier, more energetic and less stressed. Liv Miyagawa can fill you with motivation and inspiration. Apart from through personal self-esteem coaching, Liv Miyagawa can help you to raise your self-esteem through group coaching, self-esteem distance courses, home study materials and other self-esteem resources. She is also the author of The Self-Esteem Toolbox, a book full of self-esteem exercises to boost your self-esteem. Build higher self-esteem http://www.livmiyagawa.com/.